


Cold as Ice, Wild as Fire

by FeritasIce



Category: Marvel, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Aesir Loki, Alternate Universe, Angst, Asgard, Betrayal, Drama, F/M, Fandral is a cad, Female Loki, Fluff, Hogun is inscrutable, Intrigue, Jotun Loki, Jotunheim, Lady Loki, Loki is hard to please, Sif is a bitch, Smut, They're meant for each other, Thorki - Freeform, Thunderfrost - Freeform, Volstagg likes eating, but he means well, clueless thor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-15
Updated: 2013-06-06
Packaged: 2017-12-05 09:43:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 42,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeritasIce/pseuds/FeritasIce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor arrives in Jotunheim to make good on the deal Odin and Laufey struck a long time ago. He will get what he came for, but what more than that? ***FEMALE LOKI/THOR PAIRING*** There will be smut in later chapters. You have been warned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Retrieval

The golden-haired prince shivered. His royal armor and vibrant red cape were no match for the frigid coldness of this realm, and he now wished he'd listened to his father's advice. But, he'd come this far already. He had a goal, and he was not going to turn back now. The crown prince of Asgard would never let a little chill deter him from any mission. So, wrapping his cape tighter around his shaking shoulders, Thor trudged on.

To any outsider, Jotunheim appeared to be a barren wasteland, frozen solid. Though Thor had been there with his father on occasion, he still could not understand how the frost giants managed to survive here. There was no warmth to be found anywhere, and very little life. No sun in the sky, no flowing water, no trees. The ruler of this realm, Laufey, had carved out his castle in the side of a rocky cliff. Sure, there were likely vast caves and tunnels behind the icy exterior, but still, it was nothing compared to the lavish golden palace Thor called home.

As he approached, Thor looked up at the imposing stone structure. Even now, as a young man who was just about fully grown, one who towered above most Asgardians and had the brawny strength to match, he was nothing compared to this race of giants. Thor carried with him a bravado and courage that had always served him well, but in this instance, he was grateful to have Mjolnir firmly in hand. His hammer, instilled with power beyond measure, was really the only thing giving Thor any peace of mind right now.

"The son of Odin, come to claim his property," came a gravelly, bitter voice from high overhead. Thor looked up and could barely make out the shape of Laufey in the dim light.

"In accordance with the deal you struck with my father, yes," Thor replied, speaking forcefully, refusing to show any apprehension.

Laufey growled, obviously unhappy with the deal. Odin had warned Thor that the Jotun king would likely try to turn him away, or convince him to leave. "I was unaware that Asgard has taken to purchasing royal spouses like cattle. Or is my offspring to be merely a plaything for the brat prince?"

Thor clenched his hammer tight, anger coursing through his ready veins. He called out, "I am not here to discuss the terms that were negotiated. I am here to take what is rightfully mine. What you agreed to give me."

He actually did not know much about the terms of this deal, only that the AllFather had made it a long time ago. The only details he'd been given were that he was to retrieve this frost giant and bring her to live in Asgard. Thor suspected he was retrieving his bride, but the king had refused to confirm it. And from what the young prince knew of Jotuns, he was not totally sure he liked the idea.

"Already you speak of my child as an object. I fear her fate in the hands of such an impertinent fool. Odin promised me a man. All I see before me is a boy." Laufey practically spit the last words out, as if to emphasize the insult.

"I am a man!" Thor raged, raising his hammer threateningly. "I am strong, and brave and I need not prove my worth to you! Now bring me what - whom - I came for, or blood will be shed and it will be on your hands!"

Though Thor could not see it from where he stood, Laufey frowned, resigned and nodded to his guard. The guard retreated into the cave and emerged on ground level a minute later, leading a small form. Thor strained his eyes to see, but could not make out much. The guard towered over the figure he roughly pulled alongside him. She was female, Thor could tell by her shape, but because she looked down, her hair covered her face. The pair stopped a few meters in front of Thor and the guard unceremoniously thrust the girl toward him. She stumbled when the beast let her go, and fell to the ground, where she remained.

Unsure what to do, Thor wavered and stood still, studying the strange Jotun before him. She was unlike any frost giant he'd seen before. She was unique, and not only because she was female. The most obvious difference was her size. Thor estimated she would just reach his chin at full height. Tiny for a frost giant, but perfect for him. Her skin was blue, like the others, but it was smooth despite the intricate linear markings. Even her black hair, which blew in the snowy breeze, but did not reveal her face, was strange. Thor was fascinated already.

"She is not full Jotun." Thor stated, rather than asked of Laufey. He watched as the guard retreated back into the hidden cave opening, leaving the pair alone on the icy ground. Laufey remained at his high perch, looking down over them.

"That was not a requirement," was the king's only response.

"I was promised a princess." Thor argued, though he really had no intention of turning away this already enchanting creature.

"She is my blood; she fulfills the bargain. You've gotten what you came for."

Before Laufey had finished his words, the female began to stand. Thor watched rapt, as she rose to her feet. Shaking her hair away from her face, she looked up and met his gaze with a defiant stare. It was a transformation, Thor realized. Standing before him was not the meek, frightened girl that had been his first impression. This creature was strong-willed, a fiery temper likely lurked inside her somewhere. Horns jutted out of her forehead, typical of her race, though they, too, were smaller. That intricately marked blue skin was barely covered, the cloths just enough to make her modest. Her features were delicate, much more so than most Jotun women. Vivid crimson eyes, which glared at Thor, were bold, unafraid. Beautiful. She will be a challenge, Thor thought to himself, and he smiled.

"What is your name," he asked softly, not even sure she would understand him.

The answer came in a feminine voice that sounded mellifluous to Thor's ears, like honey, enchanting him further.

"I am Loki."


	2. The Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor brings Loki back to Asgard.

“I am Loki.”

Thor opened his mouth to introduce himself, but his words were cut off before they could escape his throat. He was left gaping as the Jotun spoke for him.

“You are Thor Odinson, prince of Asgard, come to collect what's yours,” Loki stated in what sounded suspiciously to Thor like a mocking tone. His vivid blue eyes narrow, but before he could say anything, the female walked off. She followed the path Thor had come in on and she did not look back. There were a few moments of stupid gawking while Thor gathered his wits about him, and realized that Loki had somehow gained the upper hand. Then, with a frustrated sigh, he trudged off behind her, feeling unsettlingly like an obedient dog, following its master.

Loki walked quickly, with ease, despite the uneven, icy terrain and Thor struggled to catch up. _This will not do_ , thought Thor. He would be ridiculed out of the palace if they could see him right now. Irritation fueled his steps until he finally caught up with her. A firm hand on her shoulder stopped her forward motion, though he pulled it away when Loki turned and shot daggers at him from her blood red eyes.

“You will walk behind me,” he demanded, leaving no room for argument. It was an excessive show of anger, Thor realized, but his pride was wounded. Loki was now the one left blinking after Thor as he walked away and it felt good to the childish prince. He grinned smugly at the look he knew must be on her face.

“Then perhaps you should learn to walk faster,” came the retort, which Thor probably should have ignored.

“Perhaps you should learn to keep your mouth still before it gains you trouble,” Again, with the immaturity, but Thor couldn't control it. He waited for another comeback, but Loki remained quiet. With no other noise but the soft howl of wind, blowing the snow all around them, and the rhythmic crunch of their footfalls in the icy snow, Thor found himself wishing Loki would speak again.

“Have you no horse?” asked Loki, and Thor wondered if she could read his mind.

The prince looked back and grinned at her. “Is her highness not used to such means of travel? Are you tired already? You should have paced yourself.”

“I am fine, you dolt. I was concerned for you, though I see now that you do not deserve my concern,” Loki said, with a sniff of indignation. Thor smiled wider, thoroughly enjoying their banter. It was distracting him from the cold.

“It warms my heart to know you care, my lady, but rest assured, I am fine,” He puffed his chest out a bit. “Robust and healthy enough to traverse your realm on foot nine times over, should I wish to.”

Loki's laughter rang loudly over the low howling wind, and Thor thought it might have been the most delightful sound he'd ever heard, despite the fact that it was at his expense. He frowned, playfully.

“I can so! You would be wise not to doubt me.”

“I do not doubt you, Thor Odinson, prince of Asgard. I disbelieve you entirely. You would freeze before you completed your first pass,” Loki replied, the laughter still lingering in her voice. Thor wanted to continue arguing, but there were two problems. One, she was likely right. Two, they had arrived to their destination.

“Well, no matter. We are here,” Thor said. He watched as Loki turned to look back at the tower of rock she used to call home. Does she say goodbye with regret? Is she glad to be leaving? Thor realized he had no idea how Loki felt about this whole arrangement. A sudden gust of icy wind found its way underneath his cape and he shivered. Now was not the time for that conversation. He stepped into the runic circle barely visible beneath the ice, and made sure Loki was inside it too.

“Heimdall, open the Bifrost!” he called. There was enough time for one more glance at Loki, and to read the look of fear that finally showed on her face, before they were yanked off their feet and shot back to Asgard.

Stepping out of the Bifrost with ease, the first thing Thor noticed was the warmth. What a relief it was to be home! A chilly hand on his arm drew his attention to Loki, who was leaning heavily on him.

“Loki?” Thor called quietly, “Are you alright?” She didn't answer him, but Thor could tell she wasn't. Her face shone brightly with a sheen of sweat, her breath came in frantic pants and her knees were close to giving out. Thor grabbed her, but not before she passed out in a dead faint.

“Heimdall, help!” Thor called, lowering an unconscious Loki to the ground. “What is wrong with her?”

The gatekeeper barely glanced at them. “She is Jotun, a weak one. She cannot withstand the temperature here.”

With a frown at Heimdall’s words, Thor scooped Loki up in his arms. “I will take her to the healers, they can help her.” Heimdall merely watched them leave, seemingly indifferent to their plight. With both hands holding Loki, Thor could not get Mjolnir from his belt. He'd prefer to fly, but his horse would have to do this time. With some effort, he managed to get himself and Loki up, and holding her tightly, he rode quickly to the palace and took Loki straight to the healing rooms.

A short time later, Thor found himself pacing the hallway outside the infirmary. The nerve of those women! Kicking him out! He threw his title at them, and for once, it did not garner him any favors. Though as furious as Thor was, he knew they were trying to help Loki, so he begrudgingly retreated to the hallway, where he paced. And fretted. Should he go to Odin? Surely Odin should have known this would happen, or at least that it could. Why did he not warn him? The prince hit his fist against the wall, with a growl.

A pair of gentle hands on his shoulders gave him pause and he spun around to see his mother, Frigga standing there. She regarded him with her warm brown eyes, her wavy honey hair brushed and held back with golden combs, every strand in place. Always regal, and to Thor, always comforting.

“Mother? Why are you here?”

“A mother can sense when her son is troubled by something, even from the other side of the palace,” the All-Mother answered, a glint in her eye told Thor she was jesting and he frowned. She patted his cheek with a smile. “The healers called for me. They believe I can help.”

“You? What can you do?” Incredulity tinted Thor's voice, and he felt some guilt over it. Though it was not doubt in her abilities, but confusion, that caused it, and Frigga seemed to understand.

“I am a gifted healer myself, as was my mother.” She extended a hand, wishing Thor to take it, so she could lead him inside. Thor did gratefully, and she continued speaking as they entered, quietly walking to the far side of the room. “Your Jotun -”

“Loki,” Thor interrupted without thinking. Frigga cocked her head in confusion, so Thor added, “Her name, it is Loki.”

“Ah,” replied Frigga, with a smile. “Loki is very sick, and she will not recover if she remains in Asgard.”

Again, Thor cut her off, a small panic rising in him at the thought of bringing Loki back. “But Frost Giants have been in Asgard before! Never for very long, but they seemed to tolerate it. Why cannot she?”

Frigga shushed him, cautious about disturbing the other patients. “I suspect it is to do with her genetic make-up. We don't know what it is, but something about that, and possibly her size, makes her very vulnerable to the heat. Ice and herbs will not help her, if she is to survive here.”

They approached the bed, and Thor was aghast to see the woman laying there in front of him. The healers had done their best to keep her comfortable, packing her tightly with cloth-wrapped ice, but she still looked near death. Most noticeable was her skin, which was no longer the bright azure blue it used to be. It had turned a sickly gray, her markings faded along with it. Either sweat, or melted ice, or both turned it slick. Her raven hair lay lank across the pillow, as her head moved from side to side, and her brow furrowed and knotted. Quiet moaning was near continuous and so full of pain and it tore Thor's heart to see her like this. He moved to take her hand, but Frigga stopped him.

“You'll cause her more pain if you touch her now. Her skin is already so sensitive to the warmth of the air,” she explained.

“What can you do, Mother?” Thor said, feeling for the first time in his life, completely helpless. It was an unpleasant sensation.

“She needs magic. A spell. One which I happen to know how to perform.” Frigga ushered Thor to a spot near the foot of the bed, out of the way, then waved away the healers who continued to bring fresh ice packs to place around Loki's gray form. “This spell will allow her to assume the appearance of an Aesir, as well as an Aesir's ability to withstand our climate. It is, as far as I know, the only way she will survive here.”

Thor chewed his lip. He didn't know Loki well at all, but something told him she would not take kindly to being transformed against her will. “She won't like it,” he said plainly.

“It is either this, or you send her back. Which would you prefer, my son?”

“I...cannot.” Thor felt stricken, and very selfish. “I don't think she would want that either.”

“Then it must be done,” Frigga stated simply, quietly, for she sensed her son's turmoil.

Thor rounded the side of the bed, studying Loki's skin as if trying to memorize her markings. He wished he could see her eyes once more. Without thinking, he traced one line down the length of her arm, earning the most pitiful groan from Loki and Thor pulled his hand back as if he had been the one scalded.

“Yes, do it,” Thor says. “Please.”


	3. The Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki wakes up. (cue dramatic music)

Consciousness flitted around Loki's head like snowflakes caught in an updraft. She struggled to grasp onto it. As her hold became stronger, she noticed a strange sensation on her skin. It was warm and utterly foreign. She squirmed and moaned softly, all the complaint she could manage. Besides, it really wasn't all that unpleasant. She was comfortable, in a bed so soft, it felt as if it was straight out of one of the stories she'd heard told. Her eyes, though shut, saw an amber glow through the lids. Strange, she thought again.

Finally, she felt awake enough to open her eyes. Blinking against the bright light, it took a few moments for her vision to come into focus. The first thing she saw was the smiling face of the prince and the memory of her circumstance at once came back to her, filling her with dread. She groaned and rolled away from him.

“Go away,” she grumbled, shutting her eyes tight once more, as if she could make him disappear by simply refusing to look at him.

“I shall not,” came the reply, and she could hear the smile in his voice. How dare he enjoy this!

“You shall see that grin ripped from your face if you do not remove it this instant,” she growled, still turned away.

“My apologies, I am happy to see you well. Wait, how did you know I was smiling? You're not looking at me,” the prince's confusion was honest, and frustratingly endearing. Loki relented and turned to look at him.

“You speak your emotions with foolish ease. I wonder if you even possess the ability to hide them.” Loki sat up, slowly, feeling a bit lightheaded. Thor fretted over her, but she shushed him. “I am fine. Leave me be.”

As her vision stopped swimming from the change in position, she glanced down at her arms and noticed something. Something troubling. Her skin was not her skin. A panic rose in her, and she cried out in alarm and rubbed frantically at her arms. Gone was her deep blue hue and Jotun markings, in their place, the plainest, pale porcelain. An atrocity. 

“What is this? What have you done to me?” She threw aside the thin coverlet and her legs under her gown were the same awful shade of alabaster. Her hands shot to her head, feeling for her small horns, but those were gone now, too.

“Loki, calm down,” Thor demanded, putting a hand on her shoulder which she promptly shoved off. He spoke louder. “It was done to save your life!”

“You've stolen my body!” Her words were a high pitched yell, and Thor desperately tried to quiet her down. He stepped in front of her, trying to catch her gaze, to get through to her, but she was not hearing him. “My skin, my markings! You've stolen them! Put me back!” She pummeled her hands uselessly against Thor's chest until he grabbed them, stilling her.

“Will you be quiet!?” He shouted back at her in frustration. “Listen to me! We had to change your skin, you wouldn't have survived!”

“Lies!” she yelled, but she finally realized how futile her struggling was and gave in to tears. “I am a monster. You've made me a monster!”

Thor released her hands, which retreated to be clutched against her stomach. “Loki, you are not a monster. You're still you, still Jotun, but now you can survive here. Do you not remember when you fainted coming out of the Bifrost? You could not live like that. You were in so much pain. Remember?”

Loki shook her head, spitting her venomous anger at him. “You selfish bastard! You think you can just change someone, take away their identity to satisfy your royal whim? Was I unacceptable!? The spoiled prince could not stand to look at a Jotun? Why did you take me, if I was not what you wanted?”

“Silence!” Thor's own temper hovered on the edge, spurred on by her accusations. “This was not my choice! I did not want it. It was necessary. I thought you beautiful before, and you still are. Though your mouth is not very becoming at all.”

And Loki was beautiful, even though she could not yet see it. Her pitch black hair, though it hung in messy strands, remained unchanged, and now it stood out in lovely contrast to her newly pale skin. Skin so pale, it was like honeyed milk, with just a hint of color on her cheeks and lips. Her eyes, though they shone with a furious fire, were actually a vivid green. She was so wholly unique, unlike any Aesir Thor had ever seen before.

“Perhaps you should have altered that part of me as well,” she sneered, unmoved by his words. It is a spell, she realized, and stilled. Magic was something she was quite familiar with, an unusual trait in a Jotun, and one she kept hidden for that very reason. Loki felt around the edges of the spell, to see if she could find a way underneath, but the edges were all tucked in tightly. She could not undo it. Not yet. 

Calmer, she finally was able to stop and think. And as much as she hated it, she did remember the suffocating pain of the heat when she first arrived. Suffering with this awful, plain skin was better than living with that. Loki had no choice but to relent, though she did not have to be happy about it.

So the pair was left glaring at each other, neither willing to let go of their anger, until finally Loki made to stand. She wobbled a bit, but held steady, her stubbornness helping to keep her upright.

“What are you doing?” Thor was right there at her side, holding out his hand to steady her, though she drew away from him, taking a few steps on her own. Satisfied that she was able to walk, she turned to him.

“I wish to see my quarters, unless,” she looked around the healing room with disdain, “this is where I am to stay?”

“No, but you are still recovering. You need to rest.”

“Nonsense! I am perfectly fine.” She managed a few steps, then let out a squeal as Thor hoisted her up in his arms.

“If you insist on leaving now, then I will carry you.” he proclaimed, holding her tight despite her squirming and howling. The healers, gathered on the far side of the room, watched with open mouths as the prince struggled to hold onto this woman who not long ago was so sick, she appeared near death. A few could not stifle their giggles as Loki sunk her teeth into Thor's shoulder, and his own yell filled the room. Still, he did not put her down, just threw her over his shoulder and headed out into the hall.

Resigned, Loki looked around as she was ferried down the hallway. Never had she seen so much gold and bright colors. It all shone, not with an icy coolness, but with metallic warmth. The light touched everything. Stunning, Loki thought, though she still resented being carried.

“I am quite enjoying my tour, your highness. Who would have thought the royal sons of Asgard made such handy servants?” she teased. When she got no response, she huffed and was about to let loose another remark when Thor stopped and let go with one hand in order to open one side of a pair of double doors. He strode into the room and Loki let out another loud squeal when he unceremoniously dumped her onto the middle of the large bed.

With an air of indignation, she scrambled to her feet and glared at him. “Do not ever do that again,” she seethed.

Thor smiled and waved his hand to dismiss her protests. “Shush. You are fine. You wanted to see your room. This is it.”

Loki held her glare a few more moments, then reluctantly let her gaze shift to examine the room. It was done in the same golden tones as the rest of the palace she'd seen so far, but it also had some touches of rich, dark wood in the furniture and deep green fabrics. The green was striking, Loki thought, and she went to a long drape, held open to showcase the balcony, and ran her fingers along it. It was smooth, pleasing to touch and she smiled.

Walking out onto the balcony, she became awestruck at the sight of the glistening gold city laid out before her. The rooftops all cast long shadows as they shone in the setting sun, for it was nearly nightfall. Thor came up behind her, though he remained a respectful distance.

“This is Asgard. It is my home,” Thor said softly. “It is yours now, too.”

“It is beautiful, but it is not my home.” Loki replied, frankly but without bitterness.

Thor frowned, but seemed to understand. “It will be. You must give it time, Loki. Tomorrow, I shall take you around, and show you all the beauty of Asgard. You will come to love this realm as much as I do.”

Doubtful, Loki thought, but did not say it aloud. Instead, she gave Thor a noncommittal nod and returned inside. There was a desk and chair, some empty bookshelves, and a wardrobe, with two fancy golden knobs, that when yanked open, revealed a collection of long gowns in all sorts of colors and soft fabrics. It was more than she ever had on Jotunheim, more than she’d ever expected to have.

Footsteps behind her told her Thor had followed her back in, and she wondered how long he would stay. To be honest, she was torn. Thor was overbearing and irritating, and Loki had always enjoyed the peace and quiet of solitude. But Thor was also caring and earnest and the only thing even remotely familiar in this strange place. Still, weariness had begun to seep back into her bones, and she decided she'd had enough.

“Thank you, Thor. That will be all.” said Loki, closing the wardrobe doors and turning to Thor, plainly dismissing him. Thor's smile froze on his face, then began to melt away as he blinked at her and then all that was left was the unhappiest expression Loki had ever seen. Like someone had just kicked his puppy. She giggled and felt sorry for him. “Unless you need something else...?”

“Well, um, I was thinking maybe you'd be hungry.” Thor stammered.

Loki's interest was piqued. The stories told about the fancied feasts in Asgard were among her favorites growing up. Meats, all kinds of vegetables, and they were all cooked and served hot! Fresh fruits that dribbled sweet juices down your chin when you took a bite and cups overflowing with rich mead that warmed you from the inside out. Yes, she was terribly excited to see the food, and her stomach rumbled loudly.

“Oh, yes. I am hungry,” she said eagerly and Thor grinned broadly in response.

“Are you up to joining me in the dining hall, or shall I have our meal delivered here?” he inquired.

The prospect of being presented to the public left a sick feeling in Loki's stomach, threatening to steal away her appetite before she even had a chance to look at the food. “Here, please,” she asked.

Thor nodded, as if he'd expected that answer. “Then I shall go and request our meals. Is there anything in particular that you'd like?”

“Anything.” Was Loki's eager reply, for she really did want to try it all. Again, Thor grinned and excused himself, promising to return quickly.

Finally alone, Loki wandered the room for a while, discovering the attached washroom. The white marble surfaces reminded her of the icy surfaces in Jotunheim and she wrinkled her nose at it and returned to the bedroom. With no distractions, her tiredness returned, and the warmth that she doubted she'd ever get used to, wilted her. She laid down on the bed, intending to just rest her eyes until Thor returned, but was asleep within minutes.


	4. The Reveling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki discovers the joy of a warm bath, and has a surprising visitor.

Loki woke slowly. It was day again, and soft light streamed in from the open windows, taunting Loki through her eyelids. When she finally gave in, the warm glow made her smile. It really was pretty, the way the sun made the golden surfaces in the room gleam. Too pretty to rush through, she decided, and she laid there quietly for a few blissful moments, just observing. Enjoying.

The image of Thor flitted behind Loki's eyes, and she sat up quickly. Had he come back last night? If he had, he had left again, for he wasn't in the room anymore. But there, by the small sitting area, Loki spied a tray. She wandered over to it. On it was an array of fruits, some yellowish squares that she thought may have been called cheese, and a few slices of bread. Her stomach rumbled loudly. Starting with the fruits, Loki ate nearly everything on the tray, with the exception of the cheese, which she was surprised to find out she didn't care for. No matter, her appetite was sated enough for now.

The round red fruits, with the white flesh underneath, were her favorites. She'd eaten both of them, and now her hands and chin were sticky with the juices. Perhaps it was time to make use of the washroom. She hadn't liked it last night, but in the glow of the morning sun, it wasn't all that bad. The white marble seemed less cold, though when she ran her hand across the smooth surfaces, they were indeed chilly. No time for complaining though, she thought as she stared at the large bathtub. It took a few tries, but she managed to figure out the faucets and soon the tub was filling with hot water.

Baths had been another subject for fancy tales back home, and Loki was rather looking forward to trying it out for herself. Already the room was filling with the warm vapors, which billowed up from the tub and delighted Loki. They very much resembled the frosty breaths she exhaled back home, but they were warm instead of icy and they caressed her skin in the most wonderful way. She waved her hand through the steam and watched as it swirled in the air, like tiny snowflakes. Fascinating.

So focused was Loki on the steam, that she did not notice the small bottles lining the edge of the tub until it was too late, and one was knocked into the water. She fretted over it, but soon a pleasing aroma reached her nose and she figured maybe this bottle was full of something that belonged in the tub. It smelled sweet, fragrant, like honey, which she had tasted before when one of her clansmen had returned with some. It had probably been stolen, but Loki and the other children did not care, and they clamored for more of the sticky sweetness. Now, the scent of it enveloped her along with the steam, and made her smile.

Loki shut off the water when the tub was mostly full, then stood to disrobe. As she did, she caught her reflection in a mirror and startled. Oh this skin, she thought, so wrong! It was unfair. The bath forgotten temporarily, Loki stepped closer to the mirror to inspect herself. She'd never seen her entire body all at once before. The mirrors on Jotunheim were small, mostly broken, shards that the men had scavenged. And while a part of her despaired that the skin she knew was missing, the rest of her was again fascinated.

She stood up straight and let her eyes wander first. The alabaster hue of her skin was unblemished, from head to her toes, which she wiggled against the cool marble floor. She leaned closer and made faces at herself, inspecting how her features looked now. Her green eyes were completely foreign, but she could not deny the beauty in them. Besides her face, only her breasts showed any color, tipped in pink around each nipple. She had been hairless in her Jotun form, and she still was for the most part. Only a few soft, downy patches of nearly translucent hair covered her arms, legs and her sex. She stroked the skin on her arms slowly, petting herself for a few moments before letting her hands explore the rest of her body. It was slender, yet soft, lithe. And, she supposed, attractive enough for Asgardian standards. It would serve her well here, though she doubted she'd ever feel truly at home in it. With a sigh, she stepped away from the mirror and into the bath.

Oh, the bath! From the first dip of her toe into the scented warm water, Loki was enraptured. As she sunk down into it, the liquid embraced her and flowed freely around her. Marvelous! When she was fully reclined, it reached her chin, and she giggled at how buoyant her limbs felt under the surface. Inspecting the other items lining the tub, she discovered an array of soaps, a few in bottles and some in the shape of small square cakes. Loki wasn't sure which she was supposed to use, but she discovered one that smelled similar to the fruits she'd been eating, so she picked that one. Once clean, she indulged by soaking for a good long while. The warm water was finished long before she was, but it finally became too chilly for her liking, forcing her out. Chilliness was the stuff of Jotunheim. Loki was in Asgard now, and she was so very done with being cold.

The towel was another marvel, thick and fluffy and Loki began to feel a little guilty for enjoying the amenities of this realm so freely. It was hard for her not to, when they felt so good to wrap around herself. Still, it felt too good to be true, and she frowned once more as she rubbed the towel against her limbs, wicking away the water droplets that made the air feel cold. This was no luxury vacation, she told herself. Thor had plans for her, and while she didn't know exactly what they were, she figured she wouldn't be amenable to all of them. Probably very few of them.

Loki hung her towel on a small hook to allow it to dry, and walked, nude, into the bedroom. From the wardrobe, she selected a deep green gown, made from a lightweight, smooth, silky fabric. It draped nicely from her shoulders, sleeveless, and gathered at the waist with a braided gold belt. She was looking in the mirror, trying to appreciate this strange beauty she now possessed when she heard a soft knock on the door. Curious, as it sounded much gentler a rap than she'd expect from Thor, she went over and peeked out.

Standing outside her door was a very regal looking woman. Definitely not a servant. she was dressed in a high-collared, olive green gown, lavishly detailed with gold accents. Her auburn hair was mostly upswept, and piled elegantly on the top of her head, but part of it hung loose, behind her back in soft waves. She regarded Loki with a kind face, and Loki thought she was the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen.

"Loki?" the woman asked, and Loki nodded and stepped aside so she could enter the room. She did and Loki's eyes followed her.

"Who are you?" Loki asked softly.

"I am Frigga, the Queen." she said, and Loki's eyes widened. What was the queen doing here? Loki's heart began to race a bit. Her panic must have showed on her face, because Frigga walked over and placed her hands on Loki's shoulders and smiled at her.

"Relax, child. You are in no trouble, no danger." Frigga's voice resonated with authority and compassion. Loki relaxed, but she continued to stare with wide eyes. The queen looked Loki over, then asked, "How are you feeling?"

Loki took a step back, uncomfortable with the closeness. "I am fine," she answered, bewildered still. She stood, feeling awkward and unsure of herself. Another new sensation, one she did not like. She'd held her own with Thor. Easily. But Loki did not think she could bring herself to throw snark at this woman. The queen of Asgard carried herself as if she demanded respect, and Loki was in no position to ignore that demand, no matter how much she did with Thor. The queen seemed to take no notice of Loki's inner turmoil and strode across the room, talking as if they were old friends.

"You must not remember our first meeting, Loki," Frigga said, walking to the vanity and pulling out a brush from one of the drawers. She turned and indicated with her hand that she wanted Loki to sit on the small seat, which Loki did. Standing behind her, Frigga now addressed Loki's reflection in the mirror.

"I imagine it was a shock, seeing yourself like this. You were so sick. The healers just about exhausted our entire ice stock trying to cool you down, and it still barely kept you alive." The All-Mother spoke in soothing tones and began to run the brush gently through Loki's black hair. Her hair had always been a source of fascination, and often ridicule, back home. Frost Giants rarely grew hair, and none ever grew as much as Loki had. She'd learned to ignore the ridicule and her hair, and had never thought to do anything with it before. Now, under the queen's hand, she relaxed even more and very much enjoyed the way the brush felt against her scalp.

"I am terribly sorry," the queen continued, "that there wasn't any other way to save you. Other than bringing you back, which Thor said you wouldn't have wanted."

"No." said Loki quietly, and Frigga paused. "I would not have been welcomed, had I been returned. I would have been called a failure and banished or executed."

Frigga frowned, but resumed brushing. "Then it is good that I was able to save you."

Loki's head spun up to face Frigga. "You did this? This was your magic?" she demanded.

"Yes. As far as I know, I am the only one in this realm capable of performing such a spell," Frigga answered. "And as I've said, I am sorry it had to be done."

The All-Mother continued speaking as Loki turned back around, though Loki was not quite listening anymore. She watched as her hair went from messy, wet tendrils that hung limp against her scalp, to thick, smooth blue-black locks that shone and framed her face beautifully. She's using magic again, Loki realized, for her hair was dry now and looked healthier than it ever had before. Loki longed to pick her brain about her magic knowledge, to beg the queen to teach her, but she knew it was not her place to do so. All she could do was pay attention and glean whatever information she could while in the queen's presence.

"There!" Frigga announced, with a wide smile. She placed the brush back in the drawer and smiled at Loki once more. "You are beautiful, Loki. You may not feel it yet, but I hope you can accept it soon enough." At the queen's words, Loki felt a heat rise in her cheeks. She looked away and mumbled a thank you.

"Thor is going to show you around, today, yes?" Frigga stepped back so Loki could stand.

"Yes, although I am not sure when," Loki answered. She wasn't sure what the protocol was. Could she go knock on Thor's door whenever she wanted, or was she to wait until she was summoned?

"If I know my son, and I do," she grinned, "he won't be away much longer. I believe he may be smitten." Unsure the meaning of the word, Loki only nodded in return.

As if on cue, a knock sounded on the door. This one was much heavier than the queen's had been, leaving no doubt as to who was calling. Sure enough, without waiting for an answer, Thor opened the door and peeked his blond head around it. Meeting Loki's eyes, he grinned wide and stepped into the room. When he noticed Frigga, he halted.

"Mother? What are you doing here? Is Loki alright?" he asked, concern hitting him immediately.

"Yes, my son, she is fine. I merely came to check in on her." She turned and smiled once more at Loki. "I will take my leave now. Loki, it is nice to see you well. I hope you enjoy discovering Asgard."

"Thank you," Loki replied, truly grateful for the All-Mother's kindness.

The queen gave her son a brief hug, stopping to whisper something in his ear, then gave him a nod and a knowing smile before leaving the room. Thor returned his gaze and his grin to Loki. He feasted his eyes on her for a few moments, until Loki began to grow uncomfortable under his scrutiny and frowned.

"You look at me as if you've never seen a woman before, yet I know you've seen plenty," she admonished him.

Thor laughed. "True, I have seen countless women. Though none are quite as enchanting as you."

Loki rolled her eyes derisively, clearly scoffing at Thor's words. "I am a novelty. Nothing else." Thor's face fell, but Loki paid no attention this time. "Now, shall we take this grand tour, so that I may learn to find my way around?"

The prince opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if he were trying to voice something, but gave up with a sigh. He put his smile back in place. "Of course, Loki. Let us go."


	5. The Tour, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is told from Thor's point of view.

TPOV

Walking into Loki’s room and seeing Frigga unexpectedly, Thor’s mind immediately went back to the healing rooms, to Loki ill and near death. Worry wound its way around his heart and squeezed. 

“Mother? What are you doing here? Is Loki alright?” he blurted. Loki appeared to be fine, standing tall, radiant even, but Thor was no expert in these things. Thankfully, Frigga set his mind at ease, and he was able to breathe a sigh of relief. Frigga took her leave, but not before whispering some advice, and a suggestion, into her son’s ear.

“Be careful with her, son. She will captivate the men without even trying, and is likely to be eaten alive if left alone.” Thor nodded at her words, though he doubted Loki was as vulnerable as his mother thought. She added, “Show her the library. I think she will enjoy it.” With that, she was gone, and Thor was left blinking at Loki.

Oh, was Loki radiant! All the gold in Asgard could not shine as brightly as Loki did. Her raven hair, no longer lank, hung in soft waves around her face. Her alabaster skin contrasted beautifully with the deep green gown she wore. The gown complimented her lovely figure, her shapely shoulders, her slim waist. Thor’s eyes traveled up and down for a few moments before Loki spoke up to remind him that he was being impolite. 

“You look at me as if you’ve never seen a woman before, yet I know you’ve seen plenty.” Her words stung a bit, but there was too much truth in them for Thor to deny them outright. He was a prince, healthy, handsome, and very much a man. Of course he’d seen many women. But now, taking in Loki’s beauty, he could not remember a single one. 

“True, I have seen countless women. Though none are quite as enchanting as you.” The compliment sounded less sincere than Thor had hoped, but then eloquence had never been one of his strong suits.

No surprise, Loki rolled her pretty eyes at him. “I am a novelty. Nothing else.” 

Thor frowned at Loki’s self-deprecating comment. Did she believe he did not want her? He did. Thor had every intention of courting her, and bedding her. That was certain. Loki would be his. Technically, she already was, and he could take her to bed whenever he wished. He was half tempted to do it now. To rid her of that gorgeous green dress so he could see naught but her soft, pale skin laid out beneath him. To silence her smart mouth with his own, and have her crying out his name instead of these snide remarks. A novelty, Loki called herself, but Thor knew she was no such thing. Loki was not merely a passing fancy. This was the first time he’d looked at a woman and thought there could be something more there. So, while taking her now was well within his rights, according to the deal, Thor did not. He wanted more than a meaningless fling, and he needed to court her carefully. 

But how to court her? Thor was at a loss. Every other woman he’d been with had needed very little courting. It was an honor to be sought out by the prince, and they had all been more than willing. Loki was the first woman he’d encountered who did not seem to want him at all. It confounded him and left him feeling off balance. In addition to that, there was the unnerving notion that Loki was different. Special. He was drawn to her more than he had ever been to another. Her beauty was more pure. Her wit more sharp. She was every bit the challenge Thor had suspected she’d be that first time he saw her in Jotunheim. The truth was, Loki brought out insecurities and self-doubt that Thor was not even aware he possessed. 

“Now, shall we take this grand tour, so that I may learn to find my way around?” Loki continued, unaware of the prince’s inner turmoil.

Thor wanted to argue, to find some words to say that would explain his feelings, his desires. Yet as usual, the words eluded him and he was left with no choice but to drop the subject. 

“Of course, Loki. Let us go,” he said with a smile that he didn’t quite feel. 

It didn’t take long for Thor to regain his good spirits, for he was more than excited to show off his home to Loki. He started in the dining hall, as he knew it would be empty this time of day. Loki’s viridian eyes were wide with awe as she took in the tall ceilings and ornate trim. The fanciful murals on the walls, which had been there for as long as Thor could remember, caught Loki’s attention. She asked a few questions about the stories illustrated on them. At least, she did until she spied the one depicting the Frost Giants and The Great Battle. Loki fell silent as she looked up at it, and although Thor desperately wished to know what she was thinking, he stayed quiet too. He did not know what to say. What had Loki been told about the battle? Did she believe Asgardians to be barbarians? Murderers? Thieves? Thor watched her closely, but Loki just looked pensive. After a while, she backed away from the wall and strolled slowly alongside the table, running her hands along the wood of the heavy chairs. 

“There are so many,” she murmured. 

“So many of what, Loki?” Thor asked, following along behind her. 

“Chairs,” Loki replied. “As if every meal is an excuse to gather round a feast.”

“Oh, it is!” Enthusiastic once more, Thor boasted about their typical meals, where food and drink abounded. Loki grinned at his exuberance. 

“It was not like that for us,” she explained. “The hunters would feast on their spoils, while the women and young waited for what was left.” 

Thor frowned. “The hunters did not invite you to eat with them?”

“Oh, no,” Loki laughed, and the sound delighted Thor, despite his disapproval. “It was not safe for us to be present when they were eating. It is most often a savage affair, and they eat indiscriminately.” Loki looked pointedly at the prince. “Anything that moved, risked being devoured.”

Thor thought that sounded more barbaric than anything the Asgardians had done, but he did not want to offend her, so he simply nodded and said, “You will find dining to be quite a different experience here.” A thought of Volstagg, a fellow warrior who was a voracious eater, passed through his mind. “For the most part,” he added.

Loki tipped her head in confusion, but Thor had already moved on. “Come, I will show you the kitchens. If they let us in, that is.” 

As it was in his best interest, Thor maintained a good rapport with the cooks, and they welcomed him and his lovely new lady friend. The women teased Thor good-naturedly, for they still saw him as the cheeky little boy who used to sneak in and steal their freshly baked treats. They all regaled Loki with stories of his misdeeds. And though Thor playfully scoffed, as if upset about being teased, there was no denying the stories. He really had done all those things. Besides, the stories made Loki laugh, so he couldn’t be angry. They also plied her with plenty of those treats, pushing small cakes and fruit tarts and such into her hands, even after she had begun to refuse. Thor managed to nab a few of them, but not as many as he’d wanted, and certainly less than they gave Loki. He sulked a bit, until Loki began to sneak hers over to him. Yes, it was safe to say the cooks very much liked Loki.

By the time the pair managed to escape the kitchen, both were grinning. 

“I take it you spend much time in there,” Loki said, as they continued down the hall. 

“Aye,” Thor replied, patting his stomach. “You can see why.” 

Loki laughed. “Yes, I can.” 

The tour continued rather uneventfully through the empty throne room and the atrium. It wasn’t until they exited the palace and came to the gardens that Loki’s face lit up again. It was a beautiful place. Winding stone paths curved around lush patches of brightly hued blooms. Trees held their branches low and their leaves provided dappled sunlight and a sense of safety. It was serene, halcyon. Thor never had the patience to spend much time here, but he thought maybe Loki would enjoy it. 

“It is much different than Jotunheim,” Thor said softly, not wanting to upset her, but wanting to initiate conversation.

Loki nodded, but still said nothing. Her slender fingers touched everything that they walked by, caressing petals, tracing leaves, and running along the scratchy bark of the trees. She seemed in awe, and Thor again found himself overcome with the desire to know what she was thinking. 

“I used to climb this tree, when I was a boy.” Thor stopped beneath a large apple tree, and Loki looked up into it’s canopy. “Well, I climbed all of them, I think, but this one was the best. The branches are laid out just so.” Thor pointed out the branches that formed a sort of spiral staircase around the trunk of the tree. 

Loki squinted up at the red apples. “Those fruits were on my tray this morning. What are they?” she asked, the first words she’d spoken since they arrived in the garden.. 

“They are apples. Did you like them?” Thor inquired. When Loki nodded, he offered, “I can get you another one, if you like.” He moved to jump up to the first branch, but Loki stopped him with a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“No. Thank you,” she said, dropping her hand back to her side when Thor turned. “I am still full from our visit to the kitchens.” 

“Alright.” Thor tried to hide the disappointment he felt that he wouldn’t have the opportunity to not only provide Loki with an apple, but to show off some of his strength. “If you change your mind, I shall be more than happy to get you one.”

“Get one for yourself, and perhaps one for me that I can save until later,” suggested Loki, seeming to understand his disappointment. Thor grinned. With an agility belied by his size, he scaled the tree, climbing high into the branches. It took him a few minutes, but he plucked the two largest, reddest apples he could see. Placing them against his belly and folding his shirt up over them to hold them, Thor started back down. When he reached the lowest branch, he held the apples in place with one hand and jumped to the ground below. Chest puffed out a bit with pride, Thor stepped up to her and presented the shiny red apple. Loki laughed as she took it.

“You look as proud as if you scaled a treacherous mountain peak, fraught with danger at every turn!” she teased. 

“Oh, but it was fraught with danger!” Thor’s smug smile did not falter one bit as he played along. “I faced peril on every branch! Any of them could have snapped under my weight, sending me plummeting to my death.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “I see. And does the prince routinely risk his royal life for such meager gain?”

Thor smirked and took a bite of his apple. His blue eyes crinkled in amusement.

“A woman’s fancy is never meager,” he countered after he’d swallowed.

“Neither your appetite,” Loki’s slight failed to hurt Thor’s pride. One does not insult an Asgardian man's appetite by calling it substantial.

“My appetite is renowned! There is nothing meager about it,” Thor said boastfully as they began to walk further down the path, leading out of the gardens. 

“Yes, it is renowned. I knew of it well before laying eyes upon you.” All frivolity was gone from Loki’s face when she spoke those quiet words. Thor frowned at her.

“They spoke of my fondness for eating in Jotunheim?” he asked, confused.

“Your _appetite_ , Thor,” Loki said, pointedly avoiding his gaze. “Not for food.” 

“Oh,” Was Thor’s only reply at first. His brow furrowed in displeasure. It was not as if he could deny any of those rumors. Though surely the Jotuns had put a negative slant on whatever tale Loki had heard. They despised him, his father, his realm, everything. Is this why she looked so unhappy? Did she think him brash, imprudent or frivolous with women?

“I do not know what you were told, Loki, but my appetite in that area is well within the norm, for Asgardians. As a prince, it is almost expected of me. And I only take what I am offered, never anything more.” He had to defend himself; he couldn’t bear to have her think poorly of him. 

Loki gave a soft sound of disapproval, then fell silent. 

“What is it? Tell me.” Thor prodded gently.

“Nothing. It is nothing, Thor.” Loki met his eyes with a smile on her face that Thor could tell was false. “Where to now?” she asked, changing the subject. Thor sighed. For the second time today this topic had put an end to his good mood. He wished he could make Loki tell him what was on her mind, but he did not want to push her. Give her space, he thought. Perhaps a diversion was necessary.

“I will show you the sparring ring, and you can meet my friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for the comments and kudos! I truly appreciate it! I know female Loki is not typical or popular, but I am glad this story has found an audience.
> 
> Up next, what exactly is on Loki's mind? And how will she react when introduced to the gang? I'm guessing there will be some fireworks there.


	6. The Tour, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki meets Thor's friends.

It really was sweet, Loki thought, how conspicuous Thor’s emotions were. His disappointment over not being able to get an apple for her was just as obvious as his attempt to mask it. Maybe the serene atmosphere of the garden made her feel sympathetic. Maybe it was him. She couldn’t be sure, but she knew she didn’t like the expression on his face. So, Loki took pity on him and allowed him to show off. She was glad for the apple, but even more so for the knowledge that she put that grin upon his bristly face. He looked better in pride than in defeat.

Her happiness soon soured though, when their conversation again returned to the topic of Thor’s licentious past. His past upset her, though the reasons for it were complicated. Too complex for Loki to put into words, even if she wanted to. Which she did not. And while she technically belonged to Thor, her voice remained hers, and hers alone. So she remained silent, exercising control over the one thing she had and refusing to answer the prince’s questions.

Loki was accustomed to living a life that was not in her own control. Jotun females had very little say in what happened in their lives. and Loki, the bastard, runtish offspring of a vengeful king, had even less. Laufey had wanted very little to do with her but that didn’t stop him from restricting her every movement. She was kept away from the majority of the populace, and Laufey made certain the males knew not to touch her. The few that Loki was allowed to socialize with regarded her as strange and offered little but cruelty, so she stayed away. It was a solitary life, one that fostered a fierce independence in Loki, and a strong sense of self. For what else had she to claim?

Now even that meager claim was no longer hers. She belonged to Thor, crown prince of Asgard. And she really had heard stories. The other Jotun youths she’d been allowed to interact with were ruthless in their teasing. Once they found out what was to become of her, they gleefully told her tale after tale of Thor’s lascivious ways. They tormented her mercilessly, calling her Thor’s whore, telling her that she’d be nothing but a vessel for his royal seed, she’d be used and tossed aside, a disgrace. Those were the nice ones. Others were even more vicious. They sneered and told her she’d better hope she didn’t end up with child. For no Asgardian prince would allow a Jotun runt to bear his child and it would be ripped from her womb before it had a chance to bring shame to the royal family.

Loki had tried to ignore them. She was skilled in allowing their taunts to roll off her back, but these were different. They squirmed and slithered their way deep inside and stoked the flames of the fear and resentment that she’d buried there. The stories were exaggerated, Loki knew that, but she had no way of knowing just how much. And now? Not only was she not her own person any longer, but she could very well end up proving her peers correct. Talk of Thor’s past reminded her of what her present was, and what her future was likely to become.

It was her own fault, Loki realized. She was the one who kept mentioning his past. She needed to remember to bite her tongue, a habit she’d fallen out of now that she was away from Jotunheim. Practicing now, she chewed her lip silently, deep in thought as she accompanied her keeper down the path. 

She wanted to hate Thor. Try as she might, though, Loki could not bring herself to do it. Yes, there was resentment and no small amount of irritation, but not hatred. She glanced over at him as they walked in awkward silence to the sparring ring, and tried to figure out why she didn’t despise him. Even now, the frown that pulled at his lips seemed to tug Loki’s heartstrings and she wanted it to be gone. Thor’s generous smile and overbearing geniality were hard to ignore. 

The prince radiated an affable warmth and no matter how much Loki wanted to shield herself from it, she found it difficult. His light found its way into her, threatening to destroy the shadows that she’d spent her life hiding herself in. And oh, that warmth, that light was tantalizing! The tiny bit of Thor that she’d already let into her heart had anchored in deep, and left her wanting him. Yes, she did want him. She wanted him to want her, too. And that terrified her, for within him was an astounding potential for pain. He had power over her that no one else had ever had. Just because he had yet to wield that power, did not mean he wouldn’t. 

Every returned smile, every question answered, every allowance she gave him was a great risk. Talk of Thor’s past reminded Loki of just how precarious her situation was, and made it easier to think negatively about him. Made that risk seem foolish. Frightened her like nothing had before. She worried the apple in her hands as they walked, wondering if she’d ever feel up to eating it.

The pair came upon a large clearing, with a handful of small structures surrounding several raised wooden platforms. Each large circular area had wooden rails surrounding it, and Loki realized these were the “rings” Thor had mentioned. Only one was occupied as the pair approached, and Loki’s steps slowed when they got close enough to see what was happening within the circle. Two heavily armored males were striking at each other with full force, neither one appearing to hold back. It looked violent, and reminded Loki of the fights that broke out often back home. Those fights almost always left one or both males dead, and it sickened Loki to watch them. She had no desire to watch this one, but Thor was already well ahead of her. 

“My friends!” Thor bellowed once he got close enough. One of the fighters stopped to look, raising a hand to greet Thor. No sooner had he done so, than the other armored figure whacked him square across the back, bringing him to his knees with a loud cry. Loki cringed, but Thor laughed.

“Fandral! You should know better!” Thor hopped up onto the platform, entered the ring and helped the man up. As Loki approached, she could see the other bent over with laughter. Peculiar, she thought. Now that the smaller man, Fandral, was upright, Loki could see he was blond, like Thor, but with much shorter hair. That hair, along with his moustache and goatee, was styled and sharp, as if he took great care in his appearance. The other man was much larger, jovial, with a full red beard that seemed to continue all the way round his head. 

“That was unfair, Volstagg!” Fandral exclaimed, though the grin on his face belied his anger. He turned and jabbed a finger at Thor, “And you! You should know better than to interrupt.” 

“A warrior should never allow himself to be distracted,” came a sharp voice from the far side of the ring. “Or herself.” A female, dressed much in the same manner as the men, hopped down from her perch on the railing and strode over to Thor’s side. “Thor has taught you a valuable lesson.”

“Thank you, Sif,” Thor beamed, and gave her a nod. “You are both wise and fair.”

“Wise enough to beat any of you fools, no matter the distractions.” bragged Sif, a vain smile upon her face. Her long brown hair was tied back away from her face, and flowed down to the middle of her back. She had a fierce beauty, and Loki did not doubt her claim. There was another male, who stayed off to the side, quiet. He spied Loki straight away, and watched her intently with narrowed but curious eyes. Loki met his gaze as she climbed the steps to the sparring ring, lifting her chin defiantly and frowning back at him. 

“Oy, who’s this?” the large one known as Volstagg exclaimed, having finally spotted Loki. Fandral turned and his eyes widened when he took in the sight of her. 

Thor came to her side and herded her closer to the group, “My friends, this is Loki. Loki, these are my friends, the Warriors Three.” With one arm remaining at Loki’s back, he introduced each one, including the silent one, whose name was Hogun. “And this is Lady Sif, the bravest woman in Asgard.” Loki noticed that Sif puffed up at Thor’s praise, and her smile was only for him. When she looked to Loki, the smile vanished. 

“Where is she from?” The female did not bother to disguise the disdain in her voice. “She is not of Asgard.”

“I am from Jotunheim.” Loki replied with a very matter-of-fact, what-is-it-to-you tone in her voice. 

Having never known a Frost Giant to be so pretty, Fandral and Volstagg both looked confused. Hogun narrowed his eyes even further, while Sif barely restrained a sneer. 

“You do not look like a Frost Giant,” she remarked, taking a step closer to Thor in an obvious show of allegiance. “You’re small, and not blue.”

“Loki became very ill when I brought her back. In her Jotun form, she could not tolerate our climate. My mother changed her to save her life, so she could live here with me.” Thor grinned at Loki when he spoke the last part, and moved his hand so it was more firmly around her waist. Loki knew these people for mere moments, but she could already read each of them clear as day. Fandral thought very highly of himself, and she could tell by his grin that he was already plotting how he would gain favor with her. Volstagg seemed every bit as gregarious as Thor, and may have been even more fascinated by food than Loki was. Hogun wore his seriousness as a mask, not allowing even the briefest emotion to show through as he studied everything intently. Loki admired that. And Sif was flat out jealous. It was obvious that she fancied Thor, and viewed Loki as competition. Loki already wanted to throw her apple at Sif, but considered it a waste of a perfectly good apple.

“Live here with you? But why? What business does a Jotun have living in Asgard?” Sif’s question was a valid one, Loki thought, and she was curious about Thor’s answer. 

But Thor hesitated, as if unsure how to respond. “Father...uh...he instructed me to travel to Jotunheim to collect Loki. That he had made a bargain with Laufey at the end of the Great Battle, and Loki was a part of that bargain. He did not tell me why, although I suspect I am to teach her our ways and perhaps foster a more permanent peace between our realms.”

Loki bit back a shocked laugh and looked at him incredulously. Was Thor really that naive? Did he think her an ambassador of goodwill? She was nothing more than a reject, tossed to Thor like a leftover scrap of food to a whining dog. Either Thor was lying, or someone had lied to him.

Sif curled her lip and took a step toward Loki, one hand on the hilt of her sword, growling, “How do we know she’s not a spy, sent to gather information for an attack?” 

Loki’s eyes widened at her brazenness, but she had no chance to react, for Thor stepped between them and placed his hands on Sif’s shoulders, pushing her back solidly. Fandral and Volstagg moved to flank them, unsure whose side to take, but ready for it either way.

“That is enough, Sif!” the prince said forcefully. “Loki is not our enemy!” 

Sif struggled against Thor’s grasp, “You don’t know that!” she asserted through gritted teeth. Volstagg reached forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. Thor stepped back suddenly, away from both of them, as if realizing what he was doing, and straightened himself with a nervous cough. Fandral came to Sif’s side, either to restrain her or hold her up, Loki couldn’t be sure. Even Hogun had inched closer to the group, as if he understood where this tension could lead.

“Sif...I am sorry,” the prince stammered, his back still to Loki. He lowered his head and Loki fumed. How dare he back down so easily? 

Sif straightened herself up as well. “It is alright, Thor. Your temper, I know you well enough to know I shouldn’t provoke you.” She approached Thor again, and touched his arm.

“No!” Loki shouted, as a surge of possessiveness shot through her. She was not as willing as Thor was to have her honor marred by this female’s insinuations. Her voice dropped lower, though it still dripped with anger as she continued. “It is not alright. I did not come here by choice, nor did I come with a purpose. I am not your enemy, but I’d be happy to oblige if you insist.”

While the men gaped, Sif took an aggressive step toward Loki. “I see no reason to fear you,” she jeered. 

Loki stepped forward, too, her magic surging furiously through her veins. Her fingers flexed, itching to strike out. “Looks can be deceiving, and so can I. You would be wise to fear me, which is likely why you don’t.” 

“I -” Sif started to talk, but froze when she saw the green sparks that crackled around Loki’s fingertips. “What is that...?”

“Loki!” Thor cried out and moved to her side, though he did not touch her. “What are you doing, Loki?” 

Glaring up at Thor, Loki said tightly, “Showing your _friend_ exactly why she should fear me.”

“Loki. Stop.” He glanced back at Sif, who stood rooted to the spot, eyes fixed on Loki’s hands. “Lady Sif means you no harm. Isn’t that right, Sif?” Thor nodded encouragingly at her.

With a shake of her head, Sif seemed to snap out of her trance and stood proud once more. To Thor, with a derisive smirk, she replied, “I wouldn’t want to waste the energy. Best to save it for a real threat.” At that, with one final glare at Loki, she turned and stomped out of the ring and down the path. 

Smug, Loki allowed her magic to recede and willed herself to calm down. After Sif was no longer in sight, all four of the men turned back to her. Arms crossed, she frowned and silently dared any of them to question her. 

“Excuse us, my friends. Loki has been through much in the past few days, and I believe she needs to rest.” Thor gripped Loki’s arm and led her forcefully down off the wooden platform. Loki struggled silently against his hold, but could not free herself. They were halfway to the palace before Thor let go of Loki with a less than gentle shove. She stumbled, and dropped the apple, but righted herself immediately, standing defiant once again. 

“What was that, Loki?” he growled at her, chest heaving with angry breath. 

Loki rubbed at her arm, glowering at him. “I was protecting my honor! No one else seemed inclined to!” she yelled back.

“Your honor was not in jeopardy. Lady Sif does not know you. She is right not to trust Frost Giants.” Thor growled. His fists were clenched so tight, his knuckles appeared white. 

“It is not just my race that she holds in contempt.” Loki fumed, quieter now. She had no interest in a shouting match. Gaining the upper hand in an argument was much easier when you remained calm while the other raged. Loki had learned that long ago.

“Not now! Not after that!” Thor’s temper continued to roar. He didn’t seem to notice Loki’s change in demeanor, nor what her words insinuated. “Why did you not tell me you could do magic? That is what that was, yes?”

Loki nodded. “You did not ask,” she scoffed. As if she’d voluntarily reveal that to anyone, let alone him! Her magic was one of her deepest secrets, and she felt foolish that she had just revealed it to everyone.

Thor blinked at her. “Jotuns do not know magic?” It was not quite a question, but Loki answered anyway. 

“You said yourself I was not full Jotun. Did you not stop to think what that meant?” Loki had just about had enough. Next would be the inevitable questions about her heritage, about what she was capable of. She didn’t want to answer them. She wanted to be back in her room, alone. 

“I...did not...” stammered Thor. His anger seemed to have dissipated some. Though not entirely, and he stepped close, looming intimidatingly. “What else are you not telling me, Loki?”

“Everything!” Loki snarled in his face. Then, in much the same manner Sif had done, she turned and made off for the palace, not caring at all that she had no idea how to get back to her room. Getting away from Thor was the only thing that mattered. Thor called out after her, but, to his credit, did not follow. Loki moved as fast as her feet could take her without actually running, and she did not dare breathe until the dirt below her feet gave way to the smooth marble of the palace floors and Thor was left far behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all the kudos and comments and bookmarks! I love that you all are enjoying my little story. There is still so much more to come, so please stay tuned!


	7. The Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki discovers the library and a few things about Thor.

It felt like hours that Loki wandered the halls of the palace, though she knew it hadn’t been quite that long. She was lost. Hopelessly lost. Every hall looked the same, and she had no sense of direction. A few people had passed by as she walked aimlessly, but she had no desire to speak to any of them, even to ask directions. Luckily, her growing frustration took her mind off her altercation with Thor and the red haze she’d been surrounded in when she left him finally faded.

Finally, sick of the endless corridors, Loki pushed open a large wooden door. It didn’t matter what was on the other side, as long as it wasn’t another hallway. Luckily, it wasn’t. Loki found herself standing in a large, room. It was sparsely lit, but she could make out long rows of shelves, each filled with books. Along the walls ran shorter shelves that had sheets of parchment stacked upon them. The air was thick and musty, but Loki breathed it in with a huge grin. 

Loki knew books. Despite growing up in Jotunheim, she knew enough of books to cherish them. The hunters would often bring them back with their spoils, for the paper burned nicely, among many other uses. Loki, being endlessly curious, would steal them whenever she had a chance. She’d never been able to keep any one book for long, as she had no adequate hiding place. And though she was flogged every time they caught her with one, she didn’t care. She treasured them, and eventually learned to decipher the strange markings in them. The Jotnar had no concept of reading, but Loki was extremely proud of her ability.

Now, she looked around the room in wonder. All these books, organized and nicely displayed. A library, that’s what this place was. Looking around and seeing no one, she began to stroll up and down the aisles. The library seemed to be deserted, and Loki was glad, for it added to the sense of tranquility. Along the shelves, she saw that the tomes seemed to be organized by subject. One section for Asgardian history, with neighboring shelves for books on the histories of the other realms, including Jotunheim. In another section, books on sciences: chemistry, biology, alchemy, elementary physics and so on. 

All the way in the back, Loki discovered a small section of very old books. Magic! Loki gasped and pulled out a very large leather-bound book. Opening it, she flipped through the pages. The writing was somewhat familiar, though she would need time to fully understand it. Her heart rate increased. Perhaps someday she could find a spell that would allow her to return to her true form! 

So enthralled was Loki by the pages she studied, she did not hear the library door open and close again. Nor did she notice Thor approaching her, stopping a small distance behind her. When his arm reached out to place a bright red apple on the shelf in front of her she jumped, let out a startled cry and dropped the book unceremoniously at her feet. 

“Thor!” she scolded him, a tumult of mixed feelings racing through her at the sight of him. Ire rose above the rest when she noticed he was laughing. “That was not nice.”

“I am sorry, Loki,” he gasped in between chuckles. “But you should have seen your face!” He bent down and picked up the book, handing it back to Loki with an apologetic smile. 

“If you wish to continue seeing it, you’ll do better to not to sneak up on me, lest I stop looking at you at all.” Loki warned, placing the book back in its place and hoping Thor did not notice its subject. 

“Loki,” Thor pleaded. “I am sorry. I thought for sure you’d heard me and you were simply ignoring me. I brought you this, see?” Picking up the apple again, he placed it in Loki’s hands. She looked down, studying it, then frowned.

“This is not the apple I had before.”

“No. When I retrieved it, I found it bruised. Ruined. I...” he trailed off when he noticed Loki absently rubbing at her arm. In the dim light of the library, he could just barely make out the finger-shaped bruises that marred her porcelain skin there. With a look of dismay, Thor hung his head. “Oh, Loki. I am so sorry.”

Loki stared at him. Thor Odinson, prince of Asgard, was apologizing to her? Over what? The blemishes? Thor’s actions with Sif and words had hurt much worse than his grip. Would he apologize for those if their damage showed as clearly? Likely not. Loki knew better than to show how affected she was so she played it off.

“You apologize too easily,” she remarked, as nonchalantly as she could. She sidestepped him easily, walking away from the magic section. “If you are not careful, it could be seen as a weakness. Behavior not befitting a future king. Rumors could spread.”

Thor got up to his feet and followed. “Let them talk, I care not about rumors. There should never be a mark upon your skin. I should not have done that.”

Loki stopped in front of the pitifully small group of books on Jotunheim and turned to face him. “They will fade soon enough. The impression your friends have of me will likely last longer.”

Thor cocked his head at this. “Why do you say that? It will be fine, you shall see,” he said with a small, but hopeful smile. “I think Fandral and Volstagg liked you very much.” 

“And the others? Sif would have my head removed if she could,” Loki’s eyes narrowed, “and I wonder if you’d stop her.”

“Loki, that is unfair. Lady Sif has been my friend since we were but children. The five of us grew up together. Sif is stubborn, and perhaps not as open-minded as I, but I believe, in time, she will learn to like you as well.”

“Perhaps.” Loki turned, suddenly needing to pay attention to something, anything other than Thor. She ran her fingers along the tops of the books. “I suppose once you have had your fill of me and move on, Sif will have no reason to dislike me.”

“Have my fill...? Move on? What do you mean?”

Loki said nothing, just picked at the spines of the books.

“Is that what you are worried about? You think I will tire of you and send you away?”

Again, Loki said nothing, but she could not hide the truth on her face when Thor put his hand to her chin and pulled her to face him. She tried to look away, but he caught her face in his hands and with a gleam in his eye, he brought his lips to hers. 

The press of his mouth was gentle, but it incited a maelstrom inside Loki. Loki knew of kissing. She’d read about it in books just like the ones surrounding her now. But to experience it was wholly different than reading about it. The books did not mention how warm his lips would be. They failed to inform her that his beard would tickle her chin, or that his scent of his breath would intoxicate her and make her feel dizzy. 

When he pulled away a few moments later, Loki had to stop herself from chasing his lips. Her heart raced and she felt hot all over. Opening eyes that she hadn’t remembered closing, she looked up into Thor’s grinning face. He had dropped his hands, but remained close.

“Forgive me. I needed to be certain.” Thor’s voice was low, husky, as if he, too, had forgotten to breathe during the kiss. “And I am now. I shall never tire of doing that.”

Loki desperately tried to regain her wits, but it was slow going. She stepped back from Thor, though the bookcase against her back prevented her from moving too far. Struggling to remember why she should not have enjoyed that, she looked at Thor with pained eyes. Thor equaled risk, not safety. Uncertainty, not stability. 

“You will,” she insisted, her voice carrying a firmness she wouldn’t have thought she was capable of right then. “You will tire of me.”

Thor shook his head. “Give me the chance to prove you wrong.”

“I am in no position to give you anything, Thor. Everything is yours already.” Bitterness laced her words, and she did not hold it back.

“I will not take from you without your permission.” Thor insisted.

“That is your right.”

Thor moved in closer, his voice a low rumble. “That is not my desire.” At that word, his eyes flashed and Loki tried her hardest to ignore the sudden rush of heat that flared in her belly. His hand came to her cheek, stroking it softly. “I desire you to come to me willingly.”

“I would fare better to willingly throw myself from a cliff.” Loki huffed, crossing her arms.

Thor dropped his hand and stood back, rolling his eyes in exasperation. “You are being unfair again.”

“I am being realistic, _Highness_. I know your history. You have never stayed with a woman before.”

“Loki...” Thor sighed. “Do not call me that. Those women, none of them were you. You are different.”

“Novelty.”

“No, Loki!” Thor grabbed her arms forcefully, but immediately loosened his grip as he remembered the bruises that still lingered. “You are not novelty, and I will not have you demean yourself like that again.”

Loki’s green eyes flared with defiance, but she withheld her words from him.

Once more, Thor stepped back. He remained quiet for a few moments, just watching her until her glare faded. “Tell me, Loki, what do you want?” he asked quietly.

The simple question threw Loki. What did she want? No one had ever asked her that before, as it had never mattered. Did it matter now?

“It doesn’t,” she answered her own silent question. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does,” Thor insisted. “I want to know.” 

“Why? It will not change anything.”

“You don’t know that.”

Loki paused, thinking. Finally, with a frown, she said, “I want to be able to trust you. But I cannot.” 

Thor straightened up, beaming. “Then I shall prove to you that you can!” Loki raised a brow at his sudden cheerfulness. “Will you allow me that chance, Loki? That is all I ask of you right now.”

With a sigh, Loki gives the only answer she could, for what choice did she have? “Alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, I know and I apologize! It was much longer, but I couldn't find a good place to stop, so I ended this one here. Which means the next chapter is already half written and the next update should happen quickly. Again, thank you for reading, bookmarking, adding kudos, and for the lovely comments. I appreciate all of it!


	8. The Courting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor tries his best to court Loki. Give the man a break, he's never done this sort of thing before.

Over the next few weeks, Thor barely left Loki’s side. Every morning, he would knock on her door first thing. She rarely answered him, as he always entered without waiting for her welcome. Loki found it endearing and never chided him for it. Usually he brought breakfast with him, and they ate together in her room. Over the meal, Thor would quiz her relentlessly about her life in Jotunheim. She in turn asked him many questions about his own upbringing. The difference in the way they had lived their lives thus far was astonishing. Though technically, they were both royalty, it meant nearly nothing in Loki’s life and absolutely everything in Thor’s. 

After each meal, Thor brought her to a new section of palace, or the grounds surrounding it. Every part of it fascinated Loki, though she found herself getting more and more annoyed by Thor’s company. It was a stark contrast to the life of near-constant solitude that she had been accustomed to, and one that was difficult to get used to. She bristled at his presence often, though Thor seemed to take it all in stride. In fact, he seemed to particularly enjoy when Loki snapped at him. Which she did. Often. 

Part of Loki’s frustration stemmed from Thor’s behavior toward her during that time. Sure, he was with her all the time, and he touched her often. But they were all chaste, fleeting touches, confined to neutral places like her arms or back. Since the kiss they’d shared in the library, Thor had kept himself at a distance. That kiss had awakened parts of her psyche that she’d never paid attention to before, left her wanting things she’d never wanted before. She wanted him to kiss her again; she wanted him to do much more than that. Loki supposed it he was simply trying to prove his intentions honorable. She could not find fault with that, but it left her discouraged. 

Loki worried that he’d changed his mind about her. That he was no longer interested in courting her. The amount of attention he gave to her would argue otherwise, but it was never the right kind of attention. Part of Loki longed to be the aggressor. While he leaned in close to point out a detail on some painting, she considered leaning back and closing the gap between their bodies. Or when he rambled on and on about about some Asgardian artifact, she considered how nice it would be to shut him up with a kiss. But Loki never did. It was not her right to take from him. If she acted too bold, he would have cause to send her away. 

So she waited. And grew more and more frustrated.

Of course, the times where she thought Thor would drive her insane were tempered by joyful days, like the one where he brought her to the stables. The great wooden structure was full of horses. Horses were unheard of in Jotunheim, though again, Loki had read stories and seen renderings of them. Seeing the beasts up close was awe inspiring. As Thor led them both down a row of stalls, Loki peered into each one to see the occupant. She smiled at them, but Thor pulled her along too quickly for her to greet any.

Finally, Thor stopped them in front of a large stall near the rear of the stables. A large white stallion, broad and beautiful, came to greet Thor.

“This is Bjartr, my stallion,” said Thor, his pride evident in his voice.

Loki was astounded by his size, but also by his gentleness. She approached the beast with no fear, only curiosity. He sniffed her as she touched the smooth, wiry hair on his side. The horse sniffed at her, and Loki laughed. 

“He is breathtaking,” she exclaimed, stroking down the soft fur of his face. 

“Bjartr comes from a long line of royal stallions,” Thor boasted. “He was bred to be the strongest, most handsome horse in the kingdom.” He paused, watching Loki fawn over his horse. “He seems to like you.”

“He is a wise creature.” Loki said, quite taken with Bjartr as well. She ran her hands along his smooth, muscled shoulders, feeling the thrum of power just underneath the skin.

“He is a lucky creature,” Thor grinned, patting the stallion fondly. Loki rolled her eyes, but could not help the grin. “Perhaps I will take you riding. Show you the woods just beyond the palace.”

“I would like that very much. Oh!” Loki startled then, for another nose nudged her on the back. She spun around to see a black mare poking her head over from the next stall.

“And who might you be?” Loki laughed, petting the horse’s snout.

“That is Nott, the mare intended for Bjartr,” Thor answered. “She has proven difficult to train and is not yet broken in enough to ride. We will find another horse for you.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Thor. She seems quite gentle to me.” The black horse was snuffling around Loki, tickling her. “She is very sweet.”

“I believe both my horses like you better than they do me!” Thor complained with a playful pout. “Or anyone else, for that matter. She has never been like this with any of the stable-hands or trainers. But I still do not think it safe for you to ride her.” Nott whinnied nervously when Thor approached, causing Thor to pause where he was. He did not want to risk upset the horse any further, especially with Loki standing so close. Bjartr came up behind him, curious about the goings on, but also keeping his distance.

“I would like to try.” Loki stroked Nott’s mane to calm her, Looking into those deep brown equine eyes, Loki saw a good deal of apprehension, but also a longing to trust. It was a mix of feelings that Loki was quite familiar with, and she felt a bond with the animal because of it. She believed the horse would be fine. “Please, Thor.”

Thor sighed, as if he wanted to argue, but felt unable to. “We will see what her mood is tomorrow. If she is agreeable, then you can ride her. Is that alright?”

Loki nodded and grinned, her green eyes sparkling as if she had already been given permission.

The next day, Thor brought Loki and a pack of provisions back to the stable. He’d explained to her along the way that Nott would likely not be fit for riding, to not get her hopes up. Loki just nodded, though she knew he would be proven wrong. The head trainer greeted the pair as they drew near the stable doors.

“Majesty, your horses are both saddled and ready for you to take them,” the man said with a small bow. 

“Both?” Thor asked. “Nott allowed the saddle?”

“Yes, sir. She has been much more docile since you and your lady left yesterday. She has allowed us to groom her and saddle her with few problems. You’ll see.” At that, the trainer left to bring out the horses.

Thor turned and raised an eye at Loki. “Magic?”

“No, Thor. I did not use magic on her.” Loki rolled her eyes. “I believe she was just waiting for the right person to trust.”

It turned out that Loki was right. Nott accepted her and followed easily the commands Thor had shown her. The pair seemed to learn together, and took to each other quickly while both Thor and his steed watched proudly. Once they cleared the palace grounds, a wide open plain sprawled between them and the woods. There, the horses were allowed to show off their speed. Loki found it exhilarating. The wind whipping through her hair, the powerful vibrations of the horses hooves pounding the ground, the sight of Thor’s exuberant grin as he rode along next to her, all made her heart sing.

It continued to sing as they entered the woods, slower now that the horses had to maneuver around trees and over some uneven terrain on the path. Here, the trees are what captured Loki’s eye. They were everywhere. Surrounding her all the way up to the sky, where they converged so thickly that only sparse sunlight could break through. The ground was covered in bushes and shrubs and a thick layer of leaves and ivy that crunched underfoot. As Thor led them further in, the woods seemed to close up behind them, leaving Loki in a world unlike any she’d ever been in before.

As Loki looked around in awe, Thor looked at her. She caught him watching her several times, though he turned away each time. That made her frown, despite her high spirits. She wished he would make his intentions more clear. Was this what Thor meant when he asked her to trust him? If anything, she felt farther from him than ever. 

The serene beauty of the wood surrounding them, along with their complete isolation made for exactly the romantic atmosphere Loki had been hoping for. Perhaps Thor was planning to use it to his advantage. Loki hoped. They came to a clearing beside a small lake, where the dappled sunlight made the crystalline blue of the water sparkle and dance before Loki’s eyes. They dismounted and Thor led the horses to the edge of the water to drink.

Despite Loki’s hope, Thor proved yet again to be completely, infuriatingly honorable. They had a picnic lunch with the provisions Thor had brought. Sitting next to each other on the blanket, the pair laughed and talked about everything. There were many times Loki’s heart sped up because Thor would glance at her, and she’d fully expected him to lean in closer and kiss her. But she was let down every time. It left her annoyed and by the time he’d packed everything back up and they started the return trip, Loki was full on angry.

Thor seemed to take no notice of Loki’s mood. He was smiling and genial as always as he led them home and Loki wondered if he really was daft, or if he was purposely ignoring it. After returning the horses to the stables, Loki wanted nothing more than to return to her rooms to be alone. Since she knew the way back to palace from here, she took off without waiting for Thor, who was talking with one of the groomers. 

Walking quickly, trying to get far enough ahead of Thor that he wouldn’t catch up, she didn’t notice the Warriors Three or Sif coming along an intersecting path. 

“Loki!” Volstagg called out cheerfully. “It is wonderful to see you!” 

Loki forced a polite smile. “Hello, Volstagg.” The group had stopped, and though Loki felt obligated to stop as well, she didn’t want to. She took a few steps toward the palace, hoping they’d get the hint. “I am sorry I cannot -”

Sif cut her off. “Where is Thor? Has he tired of you already?” 

“Sif, that is not necessary” Volstagg admonished her, then turned to Loki sheepishly. “We are all missing our friend, though we know he has been busy showing you around. Which is not your fault. Perhaps you would know where we could find him?”

“I left him at the stables. You should check there.” Loki said, speaking to Volstagg, ignoring the others. “Now if you’ll excuse me.”

“Do you need any assistance, my lady?” Fandral spoke up before she could leave. 

“No, thank you.” Loki’s brows knitted at the obvious look of disappointment on the blond’s face. What was he playing at? No matter, Loki turned and left them without a backwards glance. 

Sif was lucky she was not in a mood to fight. Had Loki been at all confident in Thor’s feelings toward her, she may have stood her ground a bit more. But his behavior left doubt swirling in her mind. Had he changed his mind? Had he grown tired of her? What would Loki do if he had? 

She made it back to her room, and after changing out of her riding clothes, into a more comfortable dress, she plopped face down on the bed. Melancholy had crept in and now had a firm hold on her. Loki was at a loss as to how to escape it. If Thor no longer wanted her, there was nothing she could do to change his mind. Was there?

A knock at the door roused Loki from her pensiveness. Thor? Groaning, she got up from the bed to check, torn between wanting to see him and not wanting to see him ever again. Her steps slowed as she approached the door, realizing that if it were Thor, this would be the first time he waited until she opened it to come in. What would cause such a break from his typical behavior? The possibilities left a sour feeling in the pit of her stomach. However, when she hesitantly opened the door, it was not Thor standing there. It was Fandral.

“My lady,” the blond said with a small bow. “I came to check that you were alright. You seemed distraught.”

“I am fine, Fandral.” Loki replied, her brows furrowing into a frown. “Thank you for your concern.” She moved to close the door, but Fandral shot his hand out to stop it. 

“May I come in?” he asked. Loki wavered. She really wanted to be alone, and if she had to have company, she’d have preferred Thor’s. But to refuse Fandral would be rude. Besides, she was a little curious as to what he wanted.

“Alright” She stepped aside and allowed the warrior into her room. He looked around the still sparsely furnished room. Only a few books she’d brought from the library made the room seem at all lived in. Leaving the door open wide, Loki made her way over to where Fandral stood.

“What is it that you want?” Loki demanded after Fandral did not speak for several moments. He gave her a smile that was nowhere near as innocent as Loki knew he tried to make it. 

“As I said, I merely wished to make sure you were well. What was it that had you upset before? Is it Thor? Has he been inappropriate with you?” 

“How Thor behaves with me is of no concern to you.” Loki had a hard time keeping a straight face. Fandral was so transparent, it was laughable. He saw this as an opportunity to perhaps win her heart, since Thor had not seemed to claim it thus far. A snowflake stood better chance here in Asgard than Fandral had with Loki, but she saw no reason not to play along for a while. She was bored, and a game with Fandral sounded like fun. 

She stepped closer to Fandral and delighted at how wide his eyes became as they took her in. She smiled demurely, “Why do you worry so about my welfare? I am nothing worthy of such trouble.”

“Oh, but you are, Loki.” Fandral reached a hand up, likely aiming to touch her cheek, but with a shake of her head, she avoided it. Dropping his hand, but holding her gaze, he spoke softly. “I am likely playing with fire here, but I find you irresistible.” 

“Fire would be a welcome respite from the trouble you’re inviting now.” She looked up and met his eyes boldly. “You are either brave or stupid. I am not sure which yet.”

“Likely a bit of both.” Fandral laughed. “But you, Loki, you are worth it. Rare, stunning yet feisty. Like a delicate flower, pretty but poisonous. What price would not I pay for the chance to court you, my flower. To court you properly, I mean. Like you deserve. My friend has no wiles when it comes to seducing a woman. He has never had to work for anything.”

“As you have, I’m sure, for everything.” Loki quipped. Fandral was coming on strong, making him an easy target. 

Loki’s dig passed right over Fandral’s head, of course. He grew even more bold, placing his hands on Loki’s hips, a lascivious look upon his face. “I would work for you.”

Suddenly Loki no longer wanted to play the game. His hands felt heavy and wrong, his scent cloying now that he was too close. She stepped back, needing to distance herself from him. 

“You’ll have to work much harder after your arms are rent from your body,” she warned. Loki wanted to believe Thor would do that, but she really had no idea if he’d care at all. Still, she played the bluff and hoped Fandral would buy it. 

Relax, flower,” Fandral chuckled, earning a grimace from Loki over the endearment. “I know not to overstep my bounds. I will bide my time until Thor is finished.” He closed in once more and Loki stiffened. 

“When he grows tired of you, when he tosses you aside for the next woman, I will be there. And I will show you how you deserve to be treated.” Fandral’s words spoke directly to her deepest fears, and it threw her. Her mind reeled and she barely noticed that he’d grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. His beard scratched her knuckles unpleasantly when he pressed his lips to them, but she could only stare. 

“Just wait for me, flower,” he whispered, then he let her hand down and walked out the door. Loki was left staring after him, mouth agape, wondering what had just happened. 

So Fandral figured the same thing she had, that Thor would have his fun with her and then move on. He knew Thor better than anyone, and his assumptions did not ease Loki’s mind at all. Was that what waited for her when Thor turned her away? A life with Fandral? Loki seriously doubted he would be any better. He seemed as prolific a lover as Thor, though without Thor’s brawn or his crown to ease his way. 

She did not have much time for introspection though, for no sooner than her daze began to clear than Thor’s brawny form filled her doorway. She watched him warily from where she still stood in the center of her room, for he looked cross. The door shook in it’s frame with the force he used to slam it shut and when he strode up to her, Loki could not help to shrink back a bit. Had Thor seen Fandral emerging from her room? The implications that carried, how it must have looked to Thor, left cold fingers of dread playing their way down her spine. 

“Why did you leave?” Thor demanded. “Had you somewhere else to be?”

“No,” Loki said simply, in response to his second question. She ignored his first, as she could tell he was more focused on accusations than explanations. It was as she’d feared. Thor suspected the worst.

“I saw Fandral leaving your room just now. Is that why you left? To see him?”

“No.” She repeated, this time with exasperation. “I figured you were finished with me, and I was feeling tired, so I returned to my room.” Thor’s anger incited her own. Why should he care if Fandral showed interest in her? It’s not as if Thor was interested. 

“You returned here to see Fandral,” he prodded. 

Loki sighed. “I came here to be alone. I wanted to be alone. I came across your friends on the path and I suppose Fandral took it upon himself to come check on me. Why is that a problem, Thor?”

Thor began to pace, his face pulled into a scowl. “Why did he check on you? What did he say? Was he inappropriate with you?” His echoing of Fandral’s words made Loki chuckle. “This is not a laughing matter, Loki! If he laid a hand on you...” Thor let himself trail off, his anger cutting off his words. His fists were balled by his side, knuckles white with tension.

“If he laid a hand on me, what then?” Loki shouted, unafraid. “Someone should be able to! Why not him?”

The prince stopped in front of Loki, his eyes wild. “Because you are _mine_ ,” he seethed. 

Loki barked out a laugh. “Ha! Yours!? Oh, you have some way of asserting your claim, haven’t you? How am I yours? You do not touch me, you do not kiss me, you’ve shown zero interest in me other than as a tour guide. Maybe I desire more than just a tour guide. If you will not claim me, then give someone else a chance.” 

Thor gripped her arms, a favored move when he was angry, it seemed. “Did you give Fandral that chance? Is that what happened here?” 

“No, Thor! I did not! I could not!” Loki hated the tears that threatened to spill over, hated the weakness they conveyed, but she was powerless to stop them. 

“He did not touch you?” Thor demanded again.

Loki shook her head, refusing to acknowledge the kiss Fandral put on her hand. “I have not been touched. By anyone. That’s what you want, right? Perhaps you should find a gilded cage to lock me away until you might have use for me.”

“If that is what it takes to keep you safe, I will.” He stepped closer to Loki, so that their bodies were practically flush. His broad hands wrapped nearly entirely around her upper arms, fingers pressing into her skin. Loki could feel the warmth radiating from his skin, and as she looked up into his shining blue eyes, her heart beat so rapidly, it seemed as if it could take flight. 

“I have kept my distance out of respect to you.” The fire in Thor’s eyes shifted, from anger to lust. A different hue, perhaps, but the flames still roared, searing straight through Loki. “But make no mistake. You are mine, Loki. It is time I showed you what that means.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, long chapter!! I hope this makes up for the last one being so short. 
> 
> Thank you again for the comments, bookmarks, kudos, even just for reading my little story. I hope everyone is still enjoying it.
> 
> BTW, I've updated the rating, as the next chapter will warrant it.


	9. The Claim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Here there be smut. You're welcome.

"But make no mistake. You are mine, Loki. It is time I showed you what that means."

The gravelly tone of Thor's words reverberated with sinful promise. Loki's body felt taut and every cell seemed to vibrate, singing in a merciless rhythm that left her flushed and panting before he had even really touched her.

And then he kissed her.

This kiss was passionate, possessive, demanding, and it took everything Loki had to remain standing. Not that she could have fallen, for Thor had a firm grip on her arms, holding her in place. His lips claimed hers roughly, and when he thrust his tongue into her mouth, she couldn't help the small moan that escaped.

This. This is what she'd been waiting for. To be owned meant nothing without being wanted. Being desired. Being devoured. And that is indeed what Thor was doing. With each bruising press of his lips, each time his tongue surged into her mouth, she lost a little more of herself to him.

Oh, but she gave in to him willingly, for she wanted him, too.

Arousal clouded her mind, stripping her of coherent thought just as surely as Thor was stripping her of her gown. His hands pushed the fabric easily over her shoulders and down her arms until it pooled at her feet. Standing bare before him, a pang of shyness shot through her. She felt vulnerable, especially when he leaned back and looked her up and down. Her hands crossed over her stomach and apprehension flooded in.

She'd never done this before, and she had no idea if Thor would be gentle with her. Jotuns, by nature, were not gentle. They were not loving. Nor did they care much about what audience may be around when the mood struck them. Loki had witnessed plenty, but chose instead to focus on the one narrative she'd encountered. That particular book had only been in her possession a short time, not long enough even to finish the story. But the part where the couple lovingly consummated their relationship resonated with Loki. Even though she'd only read it once, she clung to it, knowing in her heart that mating was supposed to be like that, and hoping it would be for her.

Now that the moment seemed to be upon her, Loki panicked. What if Thor grew impatient and hurt her? What if he did not enjoy himself enough to keep her around? Would this be the extent of their relationship? Self-doubt and fear made her tremble behind her crossed arms.

"Do not cover yourself, Loki," Thor murmured, pushing her arms down to her sides. "You are breathtaking. I wish to look at you."

Loki turned her face away, shaking her head slightly, but Thor's attentions were already elsewhere. He cupped Loki's breasts with his large hands, eliciting a gasp as a thumb ran across each dusky pink nipple.

"Mine," Thor proclaimed softly as they pebbled beneath his fingers, and just like that Loki's doubt was once again overshadowed by desire. To Hel with what Thor might do. Instinct took over and her entire body screamed for his touch; she needed him. Rough, gentle, it no longer mattered.

"Oh, Loki'" he sighed, then caught her lips in another kiss. As Thor kissed her this time, he rolled her sensitive nipples between his fingers, sending shockwaves of pleasure traversing through her whole body, before culminating in a rush of heat and wetness between her legs.

Running his hands up her sides, Thor lifted her arms to place them around his neck. Then he wrapped her in a tight embrace, and without breaking their kiss, he easily lifted her off her feet and walked her to her bed.

Standing there beside the bed, Thor finally broke the kiss. Loki stood gasping while Thor bent to remove his boots and then peeled his shirt off. Her hand darted out tentatively to touch him and he allowed it. She traversed the the broad expanse of his chest with gentle fingertips and wide eyes. The ridged, blue skin of Jotun males was beautiful, but Loki had never been all that fascinated by their bodies. Thor's body captivated her. The flesh on his chest was firm, yet pliant. Smooth, except for his nipples, which hardened under her fingers as she ran them across, earning a gasp from the prince. Loki glanced up at him with the hint of a smile, though it faded quickly when she saw his hooded eyes, watching her with predatory intensity.

"Loki," Thor growled. He picked her up again and easily laid her down onto the bed, settling himself beside her. Without giving her a chance to even think, he began to kiss and nip at her neck. Loki's still curious hands returned to Thor's skin, running up and down his sides and across his stomach. When his hips pushed forward, as if seeking her touch, she obliged and moved her hand down to his crotch. His erection was quite prominent under his pants, and when she stroked it, he groaned into her neck.

Thor kissed and nipped and sucked his way to her breast and began laving at her nipple. The heat of his tongue sliding across it made Loki writhe and cry out softly, but Thor did not relent. Alternating between suckling and gentle biting, Thor nearly drove Loki to tears with want. When he moved to repeat the attentions to the other breast, she felt as though she may combust. She whined and pressed her thighs together, desperate for any sort of friction at their apex.

Luckily, Thor took notice and trailed a hand slowly, softly down her stomach. Like hot coal, it blazed a searing heat as it inched downward, infuriatingly slowly. When he rested it much too gently on her sex, her hips bucked up of their own accord.

"Thor, please!" She begged.

He relented easily, for he was just as eager to feel her. Thor left her breasts and leaned over her, looking down into her green eyes as he slipped his hand into her panties. Loki felt trapped, captured by the lustful intensity of his gaze. Not that she'd willingly go anywhere right now. Not with his hand so tantalizingly close to where she wanted it. Where she needed it. Unable to concentrate, her own hand stilled against Thor's pants. He took the friction he wanted, though, by rocking his hips against it every so often.

"Look at you," Thor's voice was husky. "So beautiful, Loki." He slid a finger between her folds and grinned. "So wet for me. Only me. Only mine." Loki could only pant as she held his stare.

"And this? This right here?" His finger swirled slowly around Loki's clit. Her head fell back in unbridled pleasure, her free hand clutched the sheets. "This is mine, as well."

"Unnngh, yes, Thor. Yours!" came Loki's strangled cry, her hips moving subtly along with the rhythm of Thor's finger. She was certain that he had no idea how profoundly his words or his touch were affecting her. How utterly and completely they were causing her to fall to pieces below him.

Thor dipped two fingers down and pushed them into her. He pumped them slowly, shallowly, watching her face as she reacted. And when he curled them upward, Loki's back arched off the bed. The pleasure at once became unbearable and she tried to cry out for him to stop, but she couldn't form the words. She didn't understand what was going on. It was terrifying and thrilling all at the same time because she'd never been this overwhelmed. Oh, he needed to stop because it was all too much. She couldn't seem to catch her breath and she gripped his arm so tight he'd surely have his own bruises. There was a tightening in her belly and just as panic began to take hold, her world exploded. Loki's pleasure crested and every muscle went taut and twitched as wave after intense wave of sensation washed through her, blacking out everything else except Thor's hand.

After the crescendo passed, it took Loki a few moments to regain her breath and her thoughts. So _that_ is what all the fuss was about. Yes, that was very enjoyable. She still tingled all over. Her eyes, which had been shut tight, opened slowly. Thor was right there, his blue eyes blazing into her. She had felt content, sated, but the predatory glare that was still present in Thor's expression told her he was nowhere near done with her. Her breath hitched when he pulled his hand from her underwear. And when he brought his finger, which glistened with her juices to his lips and wantonly sucked it into his mouth to taste her, her own mouth fell open and that fire of arousal ignited in her belly once more.

"Divine," he murmured, then grinned lewdly. Rolling onto his back, Thor pushed his pants off and tossed them from the bed. Then, with an unexpected gracefulness, he crawled over to Loki's thighs, spreading them and kneeling between them. His erection had been impressive when she'd felt it in his pants, but she hadn't worried. He couldn't possibly have rivaled a Frost Giant in either girth or length. And while he was definitely smaller than them, seeing it now in front of her, she knew she had underestimated him. His cock jutted proudly from under the thatch of coarse hair, long and impossibly thick. He would never fit!

Thor chuckled at the horror that must have been apparent on her face, but he said nothing as he busied himself with removing her soaked panties. They, too, were tossed from the bed.

"You mean to split me in half!" Loki exclaimed, trying to scoot away from him. But Thor grabbed her legs and pulled her easily back into place.

"Loki," he scolded as she continued to struggle. "Loki, stop!" He laid down between her thighs, rendering her legs useless against him. Her wrists were caught and held by Thor's wide hands, and he pinned her arms above her head by resting his weight on them.

"Relax, please." Thor spoke softly. His golden hair framed his head like a halo as Loki glared up at him. "I do not wish to hurt you."

"You will!" she cried, futilely trying to buck him off her. Thor chuckled and rolled his hips, the ridge of his hardness sliding against Loki's still sensitive nub. Ruthless bastard, she thought, for desire flooded her once more, crowding out her fears.

Holding her wrists down easily in one hand, Thor moved the other to her chin, forcing her to look at him though she tried to turn away. "Loki, please. The pleasure you just felt, imagine that increased tenfold. That is what awaits you if you submit to me. That is what I want to give you." His smile was genuine, but she stubbornly refused to accept his sincerity.

"Oh," she panted, winded from her struggles. "so this is solely for my benefit, is it? Well, I have had my pleasure already, so if it is all the same to you - "

Her words were swiftly and effectively cut off by Thor's claiming her mouth in another bruising kiss. The faint tang of her own taste still lingered on his tongue, intriguing her, arousing her further. He rocked his hips again, and this time Loki moved with him. They danced this way for several moments, Loki giving in to the pleasure more and more with each sensual roll of Thor's hips, until Thor pulled his mouth away.

"You want this too." His smile was entirely too knowing for Loki's liking. Too smug. She couldn't hold her tongue.

"To be split open as surely as if run through with a blade? For the sake of a man's pleasure? I can think of other things I want...oh!" A particularly hard push against her sex was enough to quiet her this time. Thor growled, tightening the hold he had on her wrists as he leaned his weight on them. She'd have more bruises, but she didn't care at all this time. His free hand shot down to where their hips met, and he moved away to give it room to stroke her roughly.

"Your tongue crafts such lovely lies, but your body tells me the truth." Thor bent down to run his tongue along her jaw, to her ear where he whispered. "Tell me you want me. Tell me I am yours."

His hand had stilled when Thor leaned down, and Loki immediately lamented the loss of movement. Her body writhed, desperate to give in despite her reluctance. It screamed at her to acquiesce, to tell Thor what he wanted to hear, anything to have him inside her. The sudden sting of his teeth biting sharply into her neck was the push she needed.

"Yes, Thor. I want you. Please!" she cried out and felt him smile against her neck.

"And me?" he purred into her ear. "To whom do I belong?"

"You are mine..." Loki's words were soft, for she did not really believe them.

"Yes. Only yours, Loki.".

Thor ran the head of his cock a few times against Loki's sex before positioning it at her entrance. Her eyes grew wide as he pushed just the tip in, stretching her, but not painfully so. Loki tensed, but Thor kissed her gently, whispering sweet things in her ear until she relaxed a bit. He gave a few shallow thrusts to fully slick himself and then without warning, thrust in hard, all the way to the hilt before stilling. Loki cried out at the sudden pinch and burning pain that seared through her. Her breath caught, and refused to budge as her body rebelled against the intrusion. Panting, eyes squeezed shut, she wasn't even aware that tears had slipped out until she felt Thor kissing them away. He continued to pepper gentle kisses over her face, keeping himself still until she adjusted to him. Gradually, the pain faded, and she was able to breathe again. The fullness was a strange sensation, not entirely unpleasant.

Sensing her relaxation, Thor began to slowly rotate his hips, earning a small moan from Loki.

"It is alright?" he asked, his voice strained from the effort of holding still.

Eyes still closed, Loki hummed, for words seemed beyond her capabilities right then. Every slight jostle of his cock inside her sent a wave of pleasure through her, and while there was still a bit of pain, nothing had ever felt as right as him buried inside her. She wanted more.

Thor knew, of course, and he gave her exactly what she wanted. He began with slow, gentle thrusts, pulling almost all the way out before pushing back in again. Each push had them both groaning in unison. Eventually Thor released her hands in order to get better leverage. She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders, needing something to hold onto as he rocked into her at an ever increasing pace. There was no pain now, only pleasure. And when he snapped his hips hard, her response was loud.

The room was filled with the sounds of sex, but all Loki could hear was Thor's deep, rumbly growling as he moved above her. Her name left his lips often, almost an exaltation. And she did feel worshipped. Thor gazed down at her so adoringly, it was easy to believe she was the only thing that existed in his world. He was certainly the only thing in hers. Golden hair tumbled down from his head and obscured her vision of anything past his face. Even the air she breathed was his.

She ran her hands up and down his back, feeling the muscles strain and stretch under them. Soon a thin sheen of sweat covered them both, and she leaned up to lick his shoulder. The salt lingered on her tongue, and for a few moments, Thor owned every one of her senses.

"Loki. You. Are. Mine." He punctuated each word with a thrust, and Loki very nearly believed him.

That tightening was building once more in Loki's belly as Thor drove into her relentlessly. Her breathing became quicker, shallower, and her nails dug into the skin on his back.

"You're so close. I can feel it." Thor looked down at her almost reverently. His words were panted slowly and with breathless exertion. "Clenched so tight. Squeezing me like a vise. I need you to come for me, Loki."

Her body readily obliged Thor's request, and at his next brutal thrust, her world shattered once again. Shocks of pleasure slammed through her, relentless as Thor's cock, shutting down every part of her brain except the one focused on the goings on between her legs. Her head pressed back into the pillow, her eyes shut tight as her muscles shuddered and clenched. And Thor, he was just as lost as Loki. He let out a great roar and pushed into Loki as hard as he could then stilled, shooting himself deep inside her. His cock pulsed inside her and Loki could feel the warmth of his seed filling her. She shivered at the sensation as the final throes of her orgasm subsided.

"Oh." she exclaimed softly once Thor had stopped his last few shallow thrusts and allowed his shoulders to sag. He lifted his head to peer at her.

"Oh?" he grinned, and Loki felt a pang of affection.

"Yes, oh." She tried to keep a straight face, but a giggle slipped out. Giddiness was not a familiar feeling for Loki, but she thought perhaps she could get used to this. If she'd be given a chance to get used to it.

"I have rendered you speechless!" Thor exclaimed brightly.

"Then render me some more," Loki cupped Thor's fuzzy cheeks and pulled his face down for a kiss. Now that their passions had been quenched, the kiss remained sweet. With Thor's weight pressing down on her, his seed and his softening cock still nestled inside her, she could pretend that this kiss meant something. That she meant something. She clung to the illusion, as flimsy as it was, for the truth was she could not bear to be sent away now. With this act, Thor had pushed himself into her heart as surely as he had her body, and she could no sooner push him out than she could undo the last hour she spent with him.

But she knew. She knew how it was. Loki could not fool herself into believing this was anything more than just physical pleasure for Thor. He'd laid with women before and had never once given his heart to one. Yes, Loki was different. A prized possession, but no more than that. Certainly no better than any of the others. She had nothing to offer.

As she kissed him, her giddiness faded. She cursed herself for allowing her thoughts to run away with her again, and she hoped that Thor would not notice the tears running down her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY THEY DID IT! Yeah, I know, I ended it on a sad note, but it's Loki! She has issues. Don't worry, Thor will figure it out in time. I hope. Let's just all bask in the afterglow, shall we? Ah, yes. That's nice.


	10. The Good and the Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor finally says something right, but then later, not so much.

Thor felt as if he could keep kissing Loki for hours. What bliss this was! If he never moved again, he would die a happy man, resting here between Loki's thighs. Loki sighed, and Thor pulled back to smile at her. As much as he enjoyed kissing her, he was extremely curious about her reaction to what they had just done.

His smile immediately fell when he saw the tears on her face. That was not the reaction he had been expecting.

"Loki, what is it? Are you hurting?" He pulled out, probably too quickly as Loki hissed quietly. The small shake of her head was not enough to convince Thor. "Wait right here. I know what you need." He kissed her quickly and got up from the bed, striding nude into the washroom.

Loki's washroom was laid out similar to his own, he was pleased to see, with a bath that was plenty large enough. Often, when he was sore from practice or a skirmish, he would soak in his tub and it always helped. Thor turned on the steaming water and rifled through the bottles that lined the tub to find a nicely scented one to add to the tub.

Leaving the bath to fill, Thor returned to the room. The sight of Loki on the bed gave him pause. She had turned so she was laying on her side, facing away from the washroom. Thor's eyes wandered the graceful curve of her back, over her hips and down her long legs. Loki was breathtaking, there was really no other word for it. When he looked at her, he often forgot everything else, including breathing. Even now, though he had just found his release, the mere sight of her nude form on the bed caused a stirring in his loins. He repressed it though, for he knew she would be too sore to accept him again so soon.

It had been torture, keeping his hands away from her these past few weeks. But he'd done it. For her sake. Thor was bound and determined to prove to Loki that she was not just a conquest. That even from the beginning, his intentions had never been to bed her and leave her. Well, that wasn't true. He'd always intended on bedding her. It was the leaving that he knew he couldn't do. Especially now.

Loki stiffened visibly when the bed dipped as Thor crawled onto it. He frowned, but chose to ignore it. Instead he leaned over her and dropped small kisses down her side, from shoulder to the peak of her hip. He stopped there, sitting on his haunches and tugged at Loki's hip until she rolled over onto her back.

"Come. I have drawn us a bath," he said gently. Loki's cheeks were still damp with tears, and she said nothing when Thor gathered her into his arms and carried her to the bath. He climbed in and carefully lowered her into the water.

"Is it too hot?" Thor asked when Loki moaned as the water enveloped her.

Loki again shook her head.

"No, it feels wonderful."

Finally, something positive, Thor thought and smiled. He turned the faucets off as the tub was nearly full and settled himself in behind Loki. Moving her easily in the water, he pulled her so her so she was seated between his legs with her back resting against his chest. He could not see her face like this, but having her in his arms was worth it. Loki leaned her head back on his shoulder, and Thor crossed his arms over her, cradling her, once again content enough to never move again.

They relaxed quietly awhile, the only sounds in the room their breathing and the occasional soft splash of water as Loki trailed her hand through it. Thor watched the movement of her slender hand with as much fascination as she seemed to have for the water.

"Is this better? Has the pain lessened now?" Thor asked after some time had passed.

"Yes, thank you" Loki answered quietly.

The answer should have made Thor feel better, but it did not. Where Thor thought she would have been buoyant, Loki instead seemed as though she had a great burden holding her down. Since he had taken her, her answers had been complacent but her fire had dulled. Had he done this to her? Had he pushed her too far, too fast? Did she regret what they'd done?

"Was it that terrible, Loki?" Thor could not help the bitterness that seeped out. She had seemed to enjoy it before. Twice, in fact. What right did she have to be angry with him now?

Loki stiffened, and sat forward in the tub. Thor released her, allowing his arms to fall away as she brought her knees to her chest and hugged them. He did not like the stab of hurt that shot through his heart as she moved away from him and he fought the urge to pull her back to him. Still, he could not allow that much space between them. He sat up behind her and, moving her damp black hair to the side, he pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

"Loki?" he prodded gently. Her silence was unbearable now.

"No, Thor. It was not terrible." Came Loki's voice, still subdued. "It was not at all terrible."

Well good, Thor thought. She had enjoyed it. He had definitely enjoyed it. He looked forward to enjoying it many more times, as often as possible, for as long as possible. And it would be possible for a very long time, for who would stop him?

But why the melancholy then? Perhaps Loki was worried that the discomfort she felt would be present every time, Thor guessed.

"I know there was some pain. A necessary evil during your first time." Thor explained as he traced large fingers from her neck down her spine to where the water met her skin. A touch he hoped was soothing. "I tried to be as gentle as possible. I am truly sorry if I hurt you."

Loki sighed and the unhappiness apparent in it made Thor anxious. He had not felt this powerless and useless since Loki lay gray and unconscious in the healing room. The problems in his life had always been easily solved with his brawn, his strength and his hammer. This sort of delicate handling, the finesse Loki seemed to require of him, he was just no good at it.

"Please, Loki. Tell me what is upsetting you. I cannot bear to see you this way. If it hurt too much, we do not have to do it again." That was a lie, but Thor was desperate enough to say anything. If Loki wanted to wait, Thor would. Not indefinitely, he would surely wither and die if he could never have her again. But if she needed him to wait, as much as it would displease him, he would do it.

"Eager to push me away already, highness?" Loki sniped. "I had hoped to do well enough for at least a few performances."

Loki had intended her comment to get under Thor's skin, to irk him. But it was more telling than it was annoying. Suddenly, Thor knew why Loki was upset. He mentally kicked himself for not seeing it sooner. But this he could fix.

"Oh, Loki," he whispered, his hands on her shoulders, Loki shrugged in a half-hearted attempt to escape his touch, but he did not relent. Instead he nuzzled his face into her neck, taking the liberties he knew she wanted him to take.

"Why do you not believe me, when I say that you are mine?"

"My father gave me to you that day in Jotunheim. I do not doubt that." Loki said plainly, dismissing the obvious intent of his question. "But when one has so many possessions to play with, the they tend to lose their appeal quickly."

"You are not my toy, Loki." Thor growled, her constant debasement of her worth was tiring. "And your appeal will never diminish. When I say you are mine, I mean you are my friend. My companion. Now my lover, as well. I believe you want the same thing. At least I hope you do, because I do not intend to ever let you go."

Thor's words were met with silence. He gave her time to think, but after a few moments, he could bear it no longer.

"Do you not want the same thing?"

Loki said nothing for a few moments, then she tentatively reached up to take his hands from her shoulders and pull his arms around her once more. She leaned back, and Thor hugged her close to him and smiled into her neck. Her simple gesture was answer enough, and it sent Thor's spirits soaring.

"Good. It is settled. Let us be done with this melancholy."

Happily, he began the task of washing Loki and himself. It took a while, as he kept stopping to kiss, touch or simply stare at her. When she leaned her neck back so he could pour water onto her raven cascade of hair, the sight of her neck stretched so divinely was too tempting to resist. Especially with the vivid red bite mark that stood out starkly against her pale skin. His mark. His claim on that long lovely column. It stirred his possessiveness and he spent a long time lavishing more attention there until Loki giggled and squirmed away from him.

"Thor, stop! The marks will never fade if you keep that up!" Loki protested.

Thor hummed as he gathered her back into his arms, for that was exactly the plan. But he relented and finished washing her, then himself. The cooling water soon drove them from the tub, and much too soon, Thor found himself standing before a freshly cleaned, fully dressed Loki. He hadn't brought a change of clothes, so he'd only put his pants back on and now had to leave her to return to his room and dress for dinner.

"Join me in the dining hall tonight." Thor spoke into Loki's hair, for his face was buried in it as he embraced her.

"Thor..." Loki whined softly. "I am not sure I feel up to it."

Thor understood. The last time he'd talked her into joining him for a meal with his friends, Sif and Loki had butted heads. They had caused such a ruckus, Thor had a hard time controlling his temper with both women. He admitted that he'd yelled too harshly at Loki and spent the next day bending over backwards to please her, despite her assurances that she was not upset. Sif, on the other hand, had laughed in his face when he tried to apologize. Told him to get his balls back from Loki before he turned into a girl, reminding him why he liked her so much. Their friendship had always been an easy one. He held out hope that Loki's presence wouldn't change that.

Still, he missed the festive atmosphere that good food, good friends and good mead brought about. He wanted to share that with Loki. And showing up with Loki on his arm would send the right message to Fandral, whom he still intended to confront about his presence in Loki's room. But not tonight.

"It will be fine. You'll see. I will go change and we will go together. For some reason, I'm famished." With a wink, he kissed her quickly and left before she could argue.

-oooooooo-

Loki watched Thor leave with a mix of emotions swirling inside her. Contentment, first and foremost, for Thor had greatly put her mind at ease. He did want her. There was still so much to talk about, so many fears that still lingered, but for now, it was enough.

Unfortunately, Thor's idea to go to the dining hall doused her happiness with more than a mild dread. Did she really feel up to seeing Thor's friends? The last time she'd been in the dining hall, well, it hadn't ended well. No one knew it, certainly not Thor, but Sif came very close to being permanently disfigured that day. If he hadn't have stepped in when he did, Loki's temper would have flared out of control. What if it happened again? Hopefully Sif had learned her lesson, and would not provoke her in front of everyone.

Loki wandered over to her vanity and sat in the chair in front of the mirror. While she still missed her Jotun skin, these Aesir features no longer felt so alien. Thor enjoyed her like this. More than he enjoyed Sif, she thought, but then paused. Actually, Loki didn't know the extent of Thor's relationship with Sif. Had they been together before? Sif certainly wanted it now, that much was obvious to everyone. Well, except Thor. Not the time to worry about it now, though, and she pushed the thought to the back of her mind. She'd ask him later.

Turning her head to the side, Loki inspected the mark on her neck in the mirror. Proof that Thor enjoyed her like this. She grinned. Rummaging around in the small basket on the vanity, she found a set of pretty silver combs and proceeded to pin her wavy black hair up.

Let Sif eat her heart out.

She stood when she heard the knock at the door. The thought of Fandral flashed through her head, and her heart raced for a second until Thor walked into the room. Loki masked her sigh of relief by standing up, and turning to face Thor. He smiled brightly as he came to her.

His blue eyes danced as he cupped her cheek with one hand, then let it trail down her bare neck.

"You look lovely with your hair up, Loki. I should give you cause to do it more often." Thor grinned, running his thumb over the mark on her neck. Loki turned her head away demurely, suppressing her own smug smile.

Thor folded her arm around his and led her out the door to the dining hall. Though they encountered no one in the corridors, the din of a large crowd could be heard coming from the room long before they actually reached it. Loki's steps slowed almost unconsciously. She was a solitary creature, after all. Much more comfortable alone than in a large group of people, especially strangers. And everyone was a stranger in this place.

Thor must have noticed her slowed pace, or perhaps the expression on her face, for he stopped suddenly, and pulled Loki into a small alcove. There, in the shadows, he held her close and kissed her.

"You will be fine Loki. I promise," he whispered.

"Do not make promises you cannot keep." Loki retorted, her anxiety making her grumpy. She appreciated Thor's effort to calm her, but they did not help. They would not. She was nervous, but Loki was determined to do this. She didn't need his platitudes.

"If you behave, they will behave. Keep your temper in check and you will be fine." Thor said gently, with a hand on Loki's cheek.

"My temper!?" Loki hissed. "You keep your friends in check, and they will be fine!" She stepped away from Thor, and with anger now bolstering her confidence, she walked with her head held high to the doorway and waited for Thor to catch up. When he did, he mouthed an "I am sorry" at her. Loki ignored it. She understood well enough by now that Thor's mouth sometimes worked faster than his brain, and that he perhaps had not realized what he'd said. Still, she decided to let him stew on it a bit. Silently, she took his arm once more and followed him into the room.

The crowd did seem daunting, but both her ire and the fact that no one really paid them much mind eased Loki's anxiety. Other than an initial curious once-over at the prince's companion, nearly everyone returned to their casks and their food. Thor greeted those who said hello and introduced Loki to a few people, calling her his friend. At this point, "friend" felt like a slight, but again, Loki said nothing. She really had no better suggestion, as they had yet to qualify their relationship in that way.

Finally, they made their way to where Thor's friends sat.

"Who is this?" Volstagg jested loudly. Loki suspected he'd had as much mead as food tucked away in that substantial gut. "Finally decided to share your lady with the rest of us?" He stood up and very unceremoniously shoved some people and their dishes down the table so Thor and Loki would have room to sit. He gestured to Loki. "Please, my lady, sit. Drink with us!"

"Thank you, Volstagg." she laughed. His gregariousness was nearly impossible to resist, and Loki found herself grinning as she sat on the bench next to him. She tried her best to smile pleasantly at the others and ignored Fandral's clandestine wink.

Thor took the seat beside her, he put one arm around her waist, and the other grabbed the cask of mead that was placed in front of him and began to swig it. There were piles of food on the center of the tables. The norm for Asgardian feasts, apparently, though it was more food that Loki was used to seeing. Her eyes went big as, suddenly starving, she pondered what to eat first.

The meal went fairly smoothly, surprisingly. Both Sif and Fandral behaved. Thor included Loki in his conversation whenever possible, as did Volstagg, who seemed an endless fount of curiosity about her. Even Hogun spoke to her a few times. However, as the food was put away, the drink was not. Loki had tried the mead, but she did not care much for it. Not nearly as much as Thor did, or the others. They all continued to drink, and the more they did, the louder and more obnoxious they became.

Loki was ready to leave when Thor began to kiss her neck and run his hand up her leg, in plain sight of everyone. He reeked of mead and his hands were heavy, clumsy. This was not what Loki wanted. She was more exasperated than angry, though. She knew Thor meant no harm. He should be allowed to enjoy drinking with his friends. It's just that she felt no need to be a part of it. His behavior was embarrassing her, and she knew her patience with him would wear out quickly if she stayed.

"I am going back to my room, Thor." she whispered, once again removing his hand from her leg.

"Loki, stay!" he whined at full volume. "We have only just begun!" Wet, sloppy kisses were left along her cheek and she moved her head away.

"I am tired, Thor. I wish to lay down." She tried to maintain a smile, in spite of her growing irritation. "You stay and have fun with your friends."

"No, no, I will go with you. I wish to lay down with you, too." He pawed at her.

The thought of this Thor, drunk and bumbling, doing to her what they had done earlier made Loki's stomach sour. "You stay. Please. I am just going to sleep." She stood up from the table and said half-hearted goodbyes to the others. Sif spoke to her then, her first words to Loki all evening.

"Stop by the kitchens and get some ice for that bruise on your neck. That should help it fade." She smirked at Loki, then shrugged. "Marks like that seem to be all the rage around here. It seems like I see them everywhere I go." Sif's words stung, but Loki knew her words stemmed from jealousy. And Sif's own drunkenness prevented her from hiding it as well as she had been.

Loki's hand touched her neck as she glared at Sif. "I am quite fond of it, actually. Perhaps you will wear one some day, though no doubt, it will be a poor imitation."

"Loki..." Thor said in a warning tone. That he said her name instead of Sif's made her more angry than his inebriation did.

"Goodnight, Thor." Loki said as she tried to pull her hands from Thor's grasp. He had stood to see her off, but he hadn't moved from the table.

"I will surely die without you, Loki. I hope you know that. You've condemned me." He looked down into her eyes with his own bloodshot ones. "I love you so much, and I will wither away more and more with every second you are away from me."

Hot tears pricked Loki's eyes. His words sounded so heartfelt, and were exactly what she had been longing to hear from him. But not like this. She managed to yank her hands from Thor's and rushed out of the hall without looking back.

Thor was too drunk to notice that he was not the only one who watched Loki leave. And as the mead continued to flow, as they returned to their boisterous conversations, no one noticed when Fandral silently slipped out the same door Loki had taken.


	11. The Fervor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor gets possessive and good times are had by all. Smut!! *throws confetti*

Standing in front of her bedroom door, Loki hesitated. Now that she was away from Thor and his friends, her temper had calmed. But she felt antsy, unsettled. Sitting in her room, staring at the walls did not sound very appealing. She needed something to do, something to keep her mind occupied until it quieted down enough for her to sleep. 

The library. Now would be the perfect time to secret away one of the magic books so she could study it at her leisure, in private. Having memorized the path, Loki made her way there hurriedly and slipped inside without anyone noticing. The room appeared as it did the last time she’d been there. Dim, dusty, and empty. Perfect. As she strolled down the aisle, the memory of that kiss flooded back and brought a small smile to her face. 

Once she reached the section of magic books, she picked up a few and flipped through them, trying to decide which would be best. After a few moments, she chose two. Luckily they were small enough, she’d be able to conceal them pretty easily. On her way out, she plucked another book at random off the shelf and held it on top of the others. It would stop prying eyes if she ran into anyone on the way back to her room.

Sneaking back out the door, Loki breathed a sigh of relief to find no one in the hall. Then she scolded herself for that because she wasn’t really doing anything wrong. No one told her she was not allowed to borrow the books, even the magic ones. Secrecy was in her nature though, especially when it came to books. It was reflex, and despite herself, she walked as silently and as quickly as she could back to her room, her heart in her throat the whole time.

Well before she reached her room, the sounds of shouting could be heard. Loki was curious, but still reluctant to run into anyone with her books in hand. However, as she neared her room, she realized with dismay that her door was opened and that the voices were coming from inside her room. It was Thor, and...was that Fandral? Yes, it was. What was going on? Why were they in her room? Her curiosity burning inside her, she stood outside the door, hidden from view, and listened. 

“...and now twice in one day! Why, Fandral? You had better give me a good reason, for I am right now wondering if I should imprison you or just kill you and be done with it.”

“Thor, please calm down. I am not threatening you!” Fandral’s voice had a distinct note of panic.

“Only you would be foolish enough to do so! You need not say it directly. Any move on Loki is a threat to me.”

Loki’s ears perked when she heard her name. 

Fandral’s shaky laughter betrayed his nervousness. “I would never make a move, my friend. I bide my time, you know this. You have oft given me favor with your women, so that I may enjoy them, too. Loki is worth the wait, am I right?” 

This got a sour face from Loki. She did not want to be passed along to Fandral, and she felt a bit ill to know this had happened in the past. After a lifetime of never feeling like she belonged, she finally did - with Thor. He was her home now. She couldn’t bring herself to imagine him giving her up. Especially to Fandral. 

Her sour face turned to shock when Thor growled loudly and something fell to the ground with a thud. Not Fandral, but something heavy.

Thor’s voice was as cold as sin, and dripped with venom. “You are my friend, Fandral, and for that reason alone, I am allowing you to walk out of this room. Which you will do immediately after I let you go. But you will listen first. Loki is mine and will always be mine. You will _never_ enjoy her. And if I catch you in her room again, if I catch you anywhere near her when I am not present, you will not even get to look at her...for I will remove your eyes. Is that clear?”

All Loki heard was a squeak, and she could only assume Thor was physically cutting off Fandral’s ability to speak. And probably to breathe. 

“Good. Now leave.” Thor spat, and he must have dropped Fandral for Loki heard another thud and almost immediately after Fandral spilled out into the hallway. Loki startled and watched with wide eyes as Fandral straightened himself and hurried down the corridor without noticing her. 

It took her a few moments before she realized she had stopped breathing. A million thoughts flitted through her head. Why was Fandral in her room? He had obviously intended to get her alone again. What would he have done if she’d gone straight to her room instead of the library? Thor had assumed the worst, it seemed. Was he still drunk? Would he be upset with her? Oh, her stomach flooded with dread at that thought. What if Thor thought she had left on purpose to meet with Fandral? She considered sneaking back to the library and spending the night there.

But then she remembered Thor’s words. So possessive. She liked that. She _really_ liked that. Something about the way he’d growled out that threat to Fandral - it aroused her. Loki wished she’d been able to see Thor’s muscles bulging as he held Fandral up by his neck. Again, her desire to see him overshadowed her fears. Perhaps he would give her a chance to explain. 

Loki took a deep breath and reminded herself that she’d done nothing wrong here, that in fact she was the one who was supposed to be upset at Thor over his behavior at dinner. She walked into her room, shutting the door quietly behind her. Thor was sitting on the corner of her bed, staring at the floor with a spectacular frown on his face. He didn’t seem to notice Loki walking in, which Loki took advantage of by setting the books down quickly on a side table. She saw that the matching one had been upturned and lay on its side on the floor, but she left it for now.

“Thor?” she said quietly, not wanting to startle him. “I am sorry, I...” Her voice trailed off when Thor’s eyes shot to hers, burning with an emotion she didn’t recognize. Loki’s breath caught in her throat, and she stood, unable to move. Unable to do anything but stare back at him. There were elements in his gaze that she knew - anger, desire - but the fire was from something else entirely. And she felt the heat. It made her mouth dry, and other parts very wet. An eternity passed in those few seconds, countless lifetimes spent yearning for his touch, and so when Thor rose and came to her, all she could think was _finally_.

He brought with him an inferno, and it consumed Loki from the very first touch of his hand. He said nothing; nothing needed to be said. Thor was pure lust, insistent, urgent. His hands were everywhere, and where they weren’t, his mouth was. She could taste the mead still on his tongue, but she didn’t care. This was not the blundering drunk she’d left in the dining hall. Yes, his touch was rough, forceful, but it was borne from a desperation that Loki understood. She knew his motivations. His claim had been questioned and now every cell in his body screamed for him to reassert it. Every touch, every kiss, every bite was a statement. And Loki willingly surrendered to him. 

Their clothes came off, Loki didn’t know how. She only knew that suddenly her skin was ablaze from his touch. That his chest was bare when it pressed against hers. Thor scooped her up and brought her to the bed. The covers still lay haphazardly from their last encounter as they tumbled onto them. Had that only been hours ago? Could she already want him again this badly? 

Thor’s heavy form was a furnace pressing her into the cool sheets. Words would always be inadequate to describe the deliciousness of that feeling. Or the feeling of Thor’s scratchy face kissing it’s way down her neck to suckle at her breasts. All she could do was run her fingers through his hair and gasp at the sensations. She was so unprepared for this fervor.

“Loki” Thor rasped. His first word since she had entered the room, and it was spoken with such need, Loki swore she could feel it caressing her skin. Then he began to lick and kiss down her belly, which quivered in anticipation or maybe nervousness, for she was so completely at his mercy. It was truly frightening how far gone she was already, she was just too far gone to care. His tongue dipped into her navel, making Loki squirm, but Thor did not linger there. He did not stop until he was situated between her thighs, holding them apart with his hands. And then his mouth was on her once more and Loki couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. Her knuckles were white as she clutched at the sheet and his tongue was molten against her, laving at her, tasting her. Thor was moaning like a man enjoying the rarest of delicacies and it drove Loki crazy. He changed his technique constantly, never giving her time to relax or grow accustomed to it. A teasing flick of his tongue on her clit, then pushing into her, delving deep, curling up, then back to her clit with a firm, determined tongue, for _that_ was what made her scream. 

Relentless, Thor drove her to the brink at a dizzying pace and her orgasm swept her away before she even realized what was happening. Thor worked her through it until her trembling slowed and her cries quieted and then, quick as lightning, he was on her again. His body resting on hers, his mouth kissing hers desperately, hungrily, and Loki powerless to do anything but kiss him back. She tasted herself on his tongue, a sweet tang that mingled with his own taste. 

“ _Loki_ ,” Her name was a whine this time, filled with a despair that tore at Loki’s heart. 

“What is it?” Loki gasped, for she’d yet to find her breath. Her hands were in his hair again.

Thor’s answer was just as breathless, punctuated by kisses along her neck. “I need you...need to have you...” He’d started rutting himself against her, inflaming her passion even more. As mindblowingly satisfying as that orgasm had been, it had done nothing to slake her desire. She needed him, too. 

“Please, Thor.” Was all she could get out. She hoped her body, undulating beneath him, would be enough of a permission for him. 

“I will hurt you. It’s too soon.” 

Loki didn’t care about that. She needed to feel him. Pain, pleasure, it didn’t matter. Already her skin tingled where he’d bitten her, along her shoulders, her breasts, but it wasn’t enough. She needed him to take her. She needed him to need her so badly that he wouldn’t care about hurting her. He was so close already, his cock already teasing her entrance. Just one thrust and he’d be home. 

“No. Please! I need you, too! Ah!” Her plea became a cry when Thor pushed in with a growl, all the way to the hilt. Oh, yes, it hurt. Tears sprung from the corner of her eyes, but she shook her head when Thor tried to wipe them away. “Please, Thor. Just move. Don’t you dare be gentle.”

He wasn’t. To his credit, he obeyed and he plowed into her with abandon. Hard, fast, brutal. Claiming. Loki clung to him, her nails raking deep red lines down his back, her heels digging into the flexing muscles of his ass, as if she could encourage him to thrust deeper. The pain made her lightheaded, but it mingled so sweetly with the pleasure that she scarcely noticed the tears running down her cheeks. 

It was exquisite, but with their passions so riled, their need so great, neither could sustain for long. Much too soon, Thor’s steady rhythm faltered, his head dropped and with a barely restrained roar he bucked his hips hard and held it, allowing his orgasm to wash through him. Loki followed, coming undone at the strength of Thor’s last thrust, and with a strangled cry, she lost herself completely to pleasure. 

Panting, reeling, feeling as though she may fall over even though she was laying down, Loki trembled long after her climax had subsided. It seemed as though Thor’s body, heavy and sweaty and still lodged deep inside her, was the only thing that kept her from floating away. Is this what love felt like? Amazing and beautiful and pain and desperation and a happiness so unbearable that you wanted to crawl out of your skin? Loki didn’t know, and she was crying again, but it wasn’t because of sadness this time. Thor was right there, as always, to kiss her tears away. To ask her what was wrong, but she couldn’t answer because she was too overwhelmed. All Loki could do was smile earnestly and kiss him back. She still clung to him. The thought of letting him go terrified her. 

“Loki, I am so sorry.” Thor said once his breathing had slowed enough to speak. “I should not have done that.”

“Don’t be. I am glad you did.” Loki replied, cupping his cheeks and looking at him with an honest smile. 

“But you are hurting.”

Loki shook her head. “I am _happy_.” 

Thor beamed. “Then I am as well.” He kissed her again, then began to move.

“Oh, slowly, please.” Loki pleaded. Thor obliged, pulling out gently to lessen her discomfort. No matter, the pain was worth it. She wanted to know he had been there, to feel that reminder when she moved. To remember that he had wanted her that badly. So she smiled, though it hurt, and sighed contentedly when Thor curled up behind her, wrapping her in his arms. Thor had snaked one arm under her head and then wrapped it around below her chin, the other draped across her belly. Her tears had dried, and Loki felt sated, safe, and sleepy.

“Are you alright?” Thor asked after she’d been quiet a while. “I did not hurt you too badly, did I?”

“No more than I wanted you to, Thor. I am fine. Stop fretting.”

“I just...he wanted you, and he was here in your room and he spoke of having you. As if I would leave you. As if it was possible.” He buried his face in her hair. “Is it not possible. Look at me, I cannot even let a few hours go by without you now.” 

Loki was perfectly okay with that.

“Thor,” she murmured. 

“Hmmm?” Thor hummed, not caring to stop the kisses he was leaving along the back of her neck.

“I did not invite Fandral to my room, I want you to know that. I didn’t know he’d follow me.”

Thor stiffened, tightening his hold on her and breathed in deep. Loki cringed and for a moment she regretted saying anything, but then Thor let out that breath and relaxed. “I know. It is not your fault, Loki. It is mine. I should have made my intentions clearer to everyone from the beginning.”

“Why did you wait so long? Why did you hold back?” 

“For this, you mean?” he asked, running his hand over her hip, and Loki nodded.

“I wanted you to feel different...from the others. You’d asked to be able to trust me, that day in the library. So I refrained from touching you. I thought that was what you wanted.”

“I do appreciate that. But it became torturous before long.” Loki swallowed before continuing. “I thought you’d changed your mind and did not want me anymore.”

“Oh Loki, it was torture for me as well. The entire time. I dug welts into my palms, squeezing my fingers into them to stop myself from touching you. See?” He held out his hands, and even in the dim light, Loki could see the darker pink crescents in his skin. The marks did not look terrible, but they were ugly because of what they represented. She traced them with her fingers, murmuring a simple spell under her breath and watched as they faded under her touch. Thor gasped, and Loki knew that he felt the tingle of heat caused by her magic. 

“Amazing.” Thor whispered. Loki giggled at his awe as he examined his hands carefully, poking at them and flexing them for a while before wrapping them back around her. “I am truly the luckiest man in all the realms.”

Loki laughed aloud at this. “Yes, you are.” Then, after a few moments, she added quietly, “Do not hold back again.”

“I do not think I could now, even if I wanted to. You will surely grow weary of my touch by week’s end.”

“I cannot see that happening. In fact, maybe I should spend more time with Fandral,” teased Loki. “I like what it inspires in you.”

“You need not risk poor Fandral’s life to inspire my passion, Loki,” Thor chuckled. “Though, I am almost certain that, after tonight, he will flee the moment he sees you approaching.”

Loki laughed at the mental image of that, but she doubted it would happen. Somehow she couldn’t picture Fandral giving up that easily. Thor reached down and pulled the blanket over them. 

“Oh? Are you staying the night, then?” Loki looked back and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Indeed, I am.” Thor replied, settling in behind her once again.

Loki gave a playful gasp. “What will your mother say!?”

“She would not wish to see her only son heartbroken and miserable, which is what I would be if I were to leave you right now.”

“No. No mother should see such a thing,” Loki attempted to say solemnly, though her grin was obvious. “I would not wish to see that either.”

The blanket was not necessary, for Thor radiated enough warmth for the coldest of Asgardian days. But Loki snuggled under it anyway, enjoying the fact that Thor was under it with her. Speaking quiet words, Loki dimmed the lamps with her magic until the room was dark enough for sleeping. They lay quietly together, each drifting toward sleep, when a thought came to Loki’s mind.

“Thor, what were the terms of the deal our fathers made? No one ever told me.”

Thor hummed, rousing himself from his half-asleep state. “I do not know. My father never told me either.” His words were slurred and he was likely fast asleep before he finished saying them.

Not Loki. She was wide awake now. Thor’s admission was a bucket of icy water, dumped right on her heart, constricting it in her chest. This deal could affect both their fates, and Loki had stupidly assumed Thor knew all about it. The truth was, Thor was no more in control of his destiny than Loki was of hers, and now neither of them had any idea what was going to happen in the future. She could not trust her own father, and she certainly didn’t trust Odin.

What if she was taken from Thor? What if this was only a temporary arrangement? Thor must have sensed her panic in his sleep, for he shifted and his embrace tightened. It steeled Loki’s resolve. She would request that Thor find out what the terms were. Find out what was in store for them, so they would know what to do. Loki was content, happy even, for the first time in her life and she vowed, then and there, that she would fight to keep that happiness. If their fathers decided to play games with their lives, Loki would let neither herself, nor Thor be pawns. 

Her determination and Thor’s steady breathing behind her settled her nerves, but Loki lay there for a long while before sleep finally found her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -insert shameless plea for feedback here, along with eloquently worded and heartfelt expressions of my undying gratitude for said feedback -


	12. The Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor has prior obligations and everyone takes advantage of his absence in a bad way.

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I wish I could stay. But this hunt has been planned for months now. I cannot back out.” The regret in Thor’s voice was apparent, but Loki stubbornly refused to hear it.

“Why can’t I go with you?” Loki asked again, even though she’d heard the answer a hundred times. 

“Loki. I’ve told you. It’s unsafe.” His broad hands were on her shoulders as they stood facing each other in her room. Thor was packed, dressed and ready to leave, and Loki found herself unable to say goodbye. 

“Besides,” Thor continued. “It is a large group of men, riding, eating, even shitting together. Sleeping crowded in not enough tents. We would have no privacy there. And I would not have you sleeping amongst such brutish company. It is not a place for a woman.”

“Sif will be there.” Loki pointed out. 

Thor laughed at that. “Sif is no more a woman than I am a cow!” 

Loki’s frown deepened, for boyish or not, she knew Sif wanted Thor as a woman would want a man. Thor was just too blind to see it. It mattered not, Thor was going to go, and Loki couldn’t stop him. 

Thor’s presence had become as natural to Loki as breathing. He was simply always there. In the last week, since they’d consummated their relationship, Thor hadn’t left her side. Loki had never known such contentment. She hadn’t known ecstasy on that level was even possible. She understood he’d have to leave at some point - he was a prince after all, with royal duties she couldn’t even begin to fathom. But why now? They’d only had a week. It was too soon.

Thor put his hand under Loki’s chin and gently tipped her head up. “You know your way around. You’re free to go anywhere you wish to go. If you need anything, ring for a servant.”

“I need you.” She pouted up at him.

“I will return to you as soon as I can. I promise.” He kissed her then, pouring his passion, all his wants and needs for the next few days into it. And Loki returned all of it, running her hands into his hair, tugging it. 

But just as quickly as the kiss started, it was over and Thor was gone and Loki stood bereft. Tears welled in her eyes, but she staunchly refused to shed them. Weak. Pathetic. Lacking. Oh, she had a wide breadth of these sort of insults to bestow upon herself, for it was all she heard growing up. But she was none of those things. Not then, and not now. Certainly not now.

It was the promise of solitude that was bringing back all these old feelings. Loki just had to keep in mind that this time was different. She was not driven to hide away in a dark, cold room, where solitude was a welcome respite from the torment of her peers. This would only be a few days on her own. She had a whole palace to wander, and a returning Thor to look forward to. Nothing bleak or desolate here. Loki took a deep breath, determined not to succumb to sadness.

The first few days were easy. Loki helped out in the kitchens, learning how they made the delicious dishes they served her. Cooking was very similar to magic, the mixing together of different ingredients, using different techniques to achieve different flavors. Loki stored away the knowledge she gained there, as well as small samples of herbs and spices that she thought may come in handy. 

There was also comfort to be found at the stables. Nott was affectionate enough to rival Thor, and Loki enjoyed her easy company. Bjartr had gone with Thor, so she and the Nott understood each other’s loneliness. The stablehands showed her how to groom the horse, and Loki enjoyed the hard work. It felt like a worthwhile way to pass her time, and the stablehands were grateful for her assistance.

In the library, and with the books she’d brought back to her room, Loki had begun to make good headway with the spell she believed could restore her true form. With the items she acquired from the kitchens, and some she’d requested from servants, asking a different servant each time, so as to not arouse suspicions, Loki had managed to secure almost everything she needed to attempt the spell. It had been a time-consuming process, but Loki wasn’t in any real hurry. 

It was the nights that were difficult, when there was nothing but darkness and the bleak emptiness of her bed. When she closed her eyes, the dark became foreboding, uncomfortable. The bed was too cold, the blankets did not provide the right kind of warmth. When Loki did sleep, she dreamt of Thor. She would come to, panting, her hand pressing against the ache of desire between her legs. Thor had awoken these hungers in her, and now he was not here to sate them. Her own fingers were too slender, not rough enough to satisfy herself and she could cry from the frustration. 

Loki groaned when she woke just after dawn on the fifth day. The pillow clutched in her arms offered little comfort now that Thor’s scent was nearly faded from it. She laid there, watching the daylight grow brighter, not wanting to get up and face another day without Thor. 

The hair on the back of her neck stood up suddenly. Loki gasped and sat up to look toward the door, certain someone was in the room with her. There was no one there, but her door hung open on its hinges, swinging slowly as if someone had just moved it. It couldn’t have been Thor, he would have come to her. And all his friends went with him on the hunt. She got up from the bed and silently padded to the door. No one remained in the hallway, not that Loki had expected to see anyone. She closed the door and locked it, an uneasy feeling in her stomach.

\------------------------------------

Thor hated leaving Loki. Despised it. But other than feigning illness or injury, there wasn’t any way out of it. The men needed his brawn, and his hammer. And by the time they made camp that first night, Thor had already lost himself in the spirit of the hunt. Hunting trips like these were as much a part of his life as sparring, or drinking. He’d been on more than he could count and it was easy to fall back into his role among these men. 

Well, the men, and Sif. 

Sif had been...different. Thor couldn’t put his finger on it. It seemed she was always in his field of vision. Always there when he turned around, when he wasn’t expecting anyone to be there. At first, he thought he was imagining it. Maybe his desire to be with Loki was manifesting itself in noticing the only other woman in the vicinity? He didn’t know, but by the second afternoon, it was beginning to unsettle him.

Then the attack happened. In the dim early morning light, the men had been so focused on the elk they’d been hunting, no one noticed the pack of wolves that descended on their group until it was too late. Four men, including Fandral had been injured and had to head back to the palace healers. Three of the wolves were slain and added to their haul, but the rest of the men decided to continue on with the hunt anyway.

The chaos surrounding the attack made it hard to think. Thor was concerned about his friends, about keeping everyone safe. It didn’t even occur to him that he’d sent Fandral back to where Loki was until they’d been gone half a day and night had begun to descend on the camp. When the realization hit him, a serpent of dread coiled itself in his stomach. The instinct to protect what was his overwhelmed him, and he was halfway through packing his stuff up on his horse to race back to the palace when Sif stopped him. 

“Where are you going, Thor?” she asked, appearing as if out of nowhere, though Thor knew she had been close by. 

“Back to the palace.” he answered curtly, strapping his pack onto Bjartr’s saddle. 

“Why? The men want to stay. You would leave them?”

“They are strong warriors, capable of taking care of themselves. Plus they have you. They’re in no danger.” Thor managed a sly grin at Sif, who rolled her eyes.

“You know that’s not true, Thor. You were the one to slay two of those wolves today. If you hadn’t been here, men would have died. Fandral could have died. They need you here.”

Thor paused. He knew Sif was right. Mjolnir still dripped with canine blood, evidence of his heroism. Of his importance. Still. 

“That attack was unexpected. Out of the norm for wolves during this time of year. It shouldn’t happen again, and the men will be more prepared now.” Thor resumed strapping on his pack.

“Thor,” Sif placed her hand on his arm. A simple touch, one she’d done a thousand times before. Why did it feel so wrong now? “Fandral will be in the healing room for at least a week. You heard how he was hollering. He was in pain. As big a baby as he is, he’ll probably spend the rest of the month with the healers, getting doted on.” She laughed lightly, trying to allay Thor’s fears. She knew them, of course, Sif was observant and caring. A good friend.

Thor sighed. “I still wish to go back.”

“I know. But it is night. Not the best time to wander into the woods alone, even for a mighty prince. Perhaps after a good rest, in the light of the morning, you will be able to convince the men to return early?” 

She was right, of course. To traverse the woods at night would be to court trouble. Even for a mighty prince. He would leave at first light, whether or not the others returned with him. Loki should be fine until then. 

“When did you become so practical, Sif?” Thor turned his head and gave her a grin.

“A woman is always practical. It is our nature.” Sif replied softly. Thor was so lost in his own receding panic that he didn’t notice how Sif had just referred to herself as a woman. Something she rarely did voluntarily.

It was dark over here, away from the fire, and quiet, away from the men. Only the occasional snort or shuffling hoof of a horse broke the silence of the night. If this had been Loki here with him in the faint glow of the far away flames, it might have been romantic. He might have been inclined to lean in for a kiss. Except this was Sif, who looked up at him with a shy smile. This was his childhood friend, who stepped closer to him and made him breathe faster. This was the girl who had always been just one of the guys, who stretched her head up and planted a soft kiss on his lips. This woman that he’d never seen as a woman until this very moment, who grew more insistent with her kiss, her hands on his cheeks, pulling his face closer. 

Stunned beyond rational thought, Thor acted on instinct and kissed her back. His brain, in what little functionality it was capable of right then, shouted conflicting things at him, confusing him. Sif was a woman, he liked kissing women. Her mouth opened readily for his tongue, and he entered greedily. She tasted good, but she tasted _wrong_. She tasted of mead and meat, not of apples and ice. Her mouth was warm, too warm, and when he put his arms around her shoulders, her armor clinked. She was hard. She was not soft. She was not Loki. 

Loki!

As if scalded by a glowing ember, Thor broke away and jumped back and wiping at his mouth. 

“What are you doing, Sif!?” Thor exclaimed.

“Has it been that long since you’ve kissed a real woman that you’ve forgotten?” Sif jeered, stung by Thor’s rejection.

“But you’re not...I mean... You’re a friend, Sif. You have no cause to kiss me.”

Sif glared at him. “What is wrong with you, Thor? Are you so blinded by that creature that you’ve forsaken your own kind? I am trying to show you that you do not have to throw your life away! That you have a woman, a good, noble Aesir woman, who loves you!”

Thor frowned. “This jealousy is not becoming of you.”

“You are heir to the throne of Asgard!” Sif’s anger made the pitch of her voice rise, drawing the attention of the men by the fire, though none were bold enough to approach. “You would have a Jotun for your queen? Your father would never allow it! The people would never accept it!”

Thor’s voice became lower, for he did not want the men to hear. The gossip would fly, and neither he nor Loki needed to deal with that. “The people are gullible and foolish, as are you. You see the Jotuns as our enemies and nothing else. And it was my father who sent for Loki. What other plan could he have had than for us to be together?” 

“You are the fool, Thor. A spoiled brat who cares nothing for the responsibilities he’s been given.” She stepped close, jabbing a finger in his chest. “You don’t deserve me.” 

With that, she turned on her heel and stomped back to camp, leaving Thor standing staring into the dark, his mind reeling.

\-----------------------------------------

That uneasy feeling revisited Loki a few times that day. Refusing to stay locked up in her room, she went about her day like normal. It wasn’t constant, but a few times the sensation of being watched came over her. But there was never anyone there. She eventually convinced herself that it was her loneliness and perhaps her frayed nerves playing tricks on her.

By the time she got to the stables, Loki felt restless. She asked one of the workers to help her saddle up Nott, so she could go riding. Frowning with uncertainty, the stablehand helped her, but warned her of riding too far by herself. Loki humored him, but she wasn’t afraid. Once she mounted Nott and rode her away from the stables, they took off. 

Oh, the exhilaration! Loki had missed this. She rode Nott up and down the edge of the woods, enjoying the scenic landscape, but unsure if she wanted to venture in or not. In the end, it was the darkening skies that decided for her, and she finally headed back to the stables. Leaving Nott for the stablehands to tend to, she headed back to her room. Exhaustion hadn’t seeped into her bones like this since Thor had left. The ride had done her good, and maybe she’d actually be able to sleep tonight. 

In her room, Loki found a small tray of food. How sweet the cooks were, to have thought of her. On the tray was a single violet flower. Loki didn’t know what kind it was, but it smelled divine and she smiled as she traced it’s soft petals against her cheek. That was also very nice of the cooks. She would have to thank them in the morning. For now, she was tired and she wanted a soak before crawling into that big empty bed. Carrying the tray with her into the washroom, Loki munched as she drew herself a hot bath. Her thighs were sore from the ride, not unlike when she and Thor finished coupling. That, too, made her smile. 

Sinking into the warm, fragrant water, Loki could almost pretend it was Thor’s warmth surrounding her. If she kept her eyes closed and her touch gentle, she could imagine it was his hands running over her breasts, down her stomach, to that throbbing need between her legs. With a soft moan, she pushed two fingers inside herself, curling them upwards like Thor usually did. It was good, but not nearly as good as Thor’s touch. Mimicking what she’d felt Thor do, moaning his name, Loki was able to bring herself to orgasm. It surprised her, for she hadn’t ever gotten that far before. Her climax was a far cry from the ones Thor gave her, but enough to satisfy her for now. Loki finished cleaning herself quickly, then got out of the tub, dried off, and slipped nude, into the sheets. More tired and sated than she’d been in days, she easily fell into a deep sleep.

When she awoke, blinking her eyes against the bright morning sun that streamed into her room, there was another flower on her pillow and she was not alone in the room. Sitting very casually on the edge of her bed was Fandral. Loki gasped and sat upright, clutching the sheets to her chest for she was suddenly very aware of her nakedness beneath them. 

“What are you doing in here, Fandral?”

“I brought you another flower. Though try as I may, I can never find one that compares to your beauty.”

“I do not want your flowers.” Loki stretched and grabbed the nightdress that lay across the bedside table, grateful now for the occasional sloppiness that prompted her to leave it there. She slipped it on, but remained under the covers. “Why are you not on the hunt?”

“Wolf attack. A terrible, serendipitous thing. Myself and three other men were injured.” Fandral paused and glanced at Loki. The concern he saw on her face belonged to Thor, but he mistook it for his own. “No worries, my flower. My injury was barely a scratch. Though I played it off well enough to be sent back here. I am good as new.”

Loki’s heart was in her throat, but not for Fandral. “Thor...”

“Your keeper was not injured,” Fandral said with a smirk, and relief washed over Loki. He ignored her and kept talking. “He decided to stay, however. I guess he prefers the company of those men over yours. Oh, wait. Sif is there, too.”

Loki’s eyes narrowed at his implication. “You need to leave, Fandral. I don’t want you in here.”

“Tsk tsk, my flower,” Fandral cooed and he scooted closer to her. “You don’t want me to go. I know you’re lonely. I see how you pine for him.” On his knees now, on the bed, Fandral advanced on her.

“Fandral, stop. Thor will kill you if he sees you.”

“But Thor isn’t here, is he? He’s off in the woods, frolicking with Sif. He’s left you all alone.” Fandral was leaning over her now, close enough to kiss her, though he didn’t. He didn’t actually touch her at all, but his weight on the sheets pinned her, essentially trapping her. His blue eyes were soft, though Loki could see the lust swirling beneath them and it made her nauseous. “You need not suffer so, flower.” 

His hand moved up to cup her cheek, and at that touch, Loki snapped. Her hands shot up and grabbed Fandral’s collar. Keeping her face close to his, Loki rose up onto her knees, pushing against Fandral until he fell back onto his elbows and she was looking down at him. Fandral grinned, mistaking her aggressiveness for interest. 

Loki’s green eyes blazed furiously into his, and her voice was quiet as she breathed her words into his face. “You will leave my bed and my room right now and I will spare your life by not telling Thor you were here.” 

“And if I kiss you instead?” He raised one hand to cup her cheek again, but Loki flinched away from it.

“If your mouth or any other part of your body touches me, it will cease to exist.” 

Fandral grinned and his eyes danced in amusement. “Such a delicate blossom, with such sharp thorns. You are a walking contradiction, Loki. Forbidden, yet so tempting. Alluring. I cannot resist.” He brought his face closer, his lips barely brushing against Loki’s. Loki shoved him back and stood from the bed. 

“Get out now, or I will kill you myself.”

Fandral laughed, lounging casually on the bed where Loki had left him. He looked like a man, waiting on his lover to return to their bed.

“Feisty little thing. Why do you spurn me?” Scrambling up from the bed, he approached Loki again. A right fool, Loki thought, thinking entirely with his dick. She almost pitied him. Was it fair to kill a man who was too stupid to know any better? 

With no regard to the danger he was actually in, Fandral put his hands on Loki’s shoulders, running his fingers gently down her bare arms. Loki shuddered in revulsion, but stood still, afraid if she moved she may actually kill him. “I only want to help you, Loki. I’ve watched you writhe under your sheets, desperate for a man’s touch. You need me as much as I need you.” With that, he grabbed her hand and put it to his crotch. Loki could feel his hardness underneath his trousers. Sizeable, but nothing compared to Thor’s. 

He’d been watching her? The thought repulsed Loki and her temper flared. She wanted to wrench Fandral’s desire away from him. Make him fear her, not want her, so he’d never bother her again. Adrenaline and magic surged through her veins, clouding rational thought, leaving only instinct and a need to hurt him.

She pressed her hand into Fandral’s erection, causing him to groan. “I do have need. I need a man to take me, to fill me and use me. You think you can do that? Hmm, Fandral?” Her lips were on his, only not kissing, she spoke against them, distracting him from the green sparks of light that were gathering around the hand that stroked him through his pants. Fandral was blinded by his arousal, by Loki’s touch and the mistaken promise of the seductive words she purred at him. “You would like that, wouldn’t you? To take your pleasure from my body, to make me scream your name. Fandral!” 

He gasped against her lips, “Yes! Oh, yes, Loki!” Then he kissed her. Loki simultaneously bit down hard on his lip and shot a bolt of magic straight into the sensitive flesh she held in her hand. With a yelp, Fandral immediately dropped to the ground, one hand holding his injured manhood, the other wiping at the blood flowing freely from his mouth.

“You stupid...” Fandral’s insult was cut off when Loki crouched down over him and he blanched in fear, trying to crawl away from her. She grinned.

“You cannot hold a candle to Thor, in any way, Fandral the Dashing.” she spat out his moniker like an insult. “I belong to him, and him alone, and for that I am eternally grateful. This insignificant little thing,” Loki glanced in disdain at Fandral’s groin, “is just a taste of what I will do to you if you come to me like this again.”

Fandral opened his mouth to speak, but Loki silenced him again. “I will not tell Thor about this, for he _will_ kill you. You’re stupid, but you do not deserve to die for it. Not yet. I will, however, leave it to you to come up with an excuse as to why you’re limping for the next few weeks.” Fandral’s mouth fell open. “Yes, a few weeks. Don’t expect to heal before then. It will likely be quite some time before you gain full functionality. Consider it my gift to the women of this realm.”

“I should have known better than to take pity on a Jotun runt!” Fandral hissed. “You’re worthless!”

“To you, yes. Although your future king loves it when I scream his name. I will be sure to scream it extra loud next time, in your honor.” 

With that, Loki stood. Leaving Fandral writhing in pain on the floor of her room, she fled across the hallway to Thor’s room. Heart and thoughts racing, Loki stole inside and locked the door behind her. Thor’s scent hit her immediately, nearly buckling her already weak knees. The pang of longing that shot through her brought tears to her eyes, and she was powerless to stop them from streaming down her face. 

Shaking, emotionally drained, Loki sought refuge in Thor’s bed. She crawled under the sheets and allowed the sobs to overtake her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters just keep getting longer and longer! I hope everyone enjoyed Loki reaching the end of her rope with Fandral. Poor guy. I feel a little bad for him. He didn't realize what Loki was capable of. But still, he needs to think more with the upstairs head, not the downstairs one. And clueless Sif. There's trouble around every corner for these two. Care to guess what's going to happen next(besides the reunion sex)?
> 
> Thank you again for the reviews, bookmarks and kudos! I really do love every one of them. It means people are actually enjoying my little story as much as I am. :D


	13. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And hornier.

To Thor’s chagrin, the men agreed to return home with him the next morning. Which meant the return trip would take longer. Which meant he felt obligated to help pack everything up. As much as Thor wanted to leave them behind and race back to the palace, he couldn’t, in good conscience, do it. So, with great resentment, he stayed. Though he worked fast, Thor’s anxiousness made him irritable. He snapped at the men when they slowed down. He cut corners and had little care for keeping things neat. Everyone could tell he was in a foul mood. Even when he was quiet, the gray storm clouds that churned overhead were a telltale sign of the prince’s ire. 

Sif was smart enough to avoid him completely. 

Ready to leave in record time, they all set out together for the day and a half trip back home. Thor grew more and more impatient as the group made its way. Leaden with their supplies and their spoils, they made slow time. Thoughts of Loki ran constantly through Thor’s head. She haunted him. She coursed through his veins. She drove him to the brink of desperation, and after half a day of too slow travel, Thor couldn’t stand it any longer. 

He led his horse up to where Volstagg, Hogun and Sif were riding.

“What’s got you so antsy, my friend? It’s not like the palace is on fire!” Volstagg quipped. Thor tried to grin, but he was pretty sure it more resembled a grimace. 

“I just...need to get back.” Thor chanced a look at Sif and saw her scowling. He knew he had to patch things up with her, make them right. but now was not the time for it. “Volstagg, Hogun, keep the men together. Make camp when night falls, do not travel in the dark. I will ride on ahead and meet you at the palace.”

They nodded, and though Thor knew they both had questions, they respectfully asked none. Let them ask Sif, if they really wanted to know. 

Thor thanked them and rode off. Bjartr seemed to understand his need to get back and allowed Thor to push him hard. Hooves pounding, crimson fabric of his cape flowing behind him, they thundered through the trees, like a streak of white and red lightning. And Loki was his lightning rod. 

They made good time and dusk was just turning into night when he broke through the border of the woods. Thor headed straight for the stables. He dismounted and handed the horse over without a word, then made his way up to the palace. His mind was already there, in Loki’s room, in her bed, caressing her skin. 

Usually much fanfare awaited Thor when he and his men returned from a hunt. All the nobles would gather in the dining hall for celebratory feasting and highly embellished storytelling. Noble women and wenches alike roamed, flirting with the men, with Thor. Thor would pick one, occasionally two, to accompany him back to his room for a night of drunken debauchery. The feasts and ensuing romps had always been one of Thor’s favorite parts of their hunting expeditions. Now, food and festivities were the farthest thing from his mind. He only wanted one thing. Only one woman.

Loki.

However, when he burst through her door of her room, ready to take her into his arms and kiss her, he found the room dark. Deserted. 

“Loki?” Thor called out softly, though he could tell she wasn’t there. Thor dropped his pack and turned up one of the lamps, illuminating the room. Her bed looked freshly made, nothing seemed out of place. No sign of anything that would cause Thor to worry. He wandered over to her desk and glanced down at the books and various vials and jars that were spread out around them. What was this? He hadn’t noticed the items before, nor did he recognize the books. Curious. Something to ask her about later.

Figuring she was in the library or kitchen, but would return soon, Thor decided to get himself ready for her. After a week in the woods, he knew he was filthy. Even his own mother had always refused to hug him upon his return from a hunting trip until after he’d bathed. And if Loki returned to find him naked in her tub, well that would be quite a treat, Thor figured. 

Thor called for a servant to come collect his dirty clothes and bring him fresh ones, then he ran a bath. Still, Loki did not return. He soaked for a while, allowing his muscles to relax and the dirt to loosen its grip on his skin. Still, no Loki. He finished up and dressed again in the simple cotton shirt and pants that the servant had left for him. Where was she? 

Finally, Thor could wait no longer and he set off to find her.

However, after an exhaustive search of the palace, he still hadn't found her. When he checked in the kitchen, the cooks told him they hadn’t seen Loki in two days. She had not visited them, nor had she been in her room when they sent over trays of food. Unusual, they claimed. Their worry fueled his and his heart thudded in his chest. 

Fandral. Thor made his way quickly to the healing room and silently stole inside. Fandral was there, laying asleep in a bed. Thor breathed a sigh of relief. Good. His still bloodied mouth twisted in a grimace of pain, even in his sleep. He looked terrible, and now Thor felt a bit guilty for thinking the worst of him. His friend’s injuries were more grievous than Thor had realized. He was no threat to Loki in this condition.

Night had fully descended by the time Thor returned to Loki’s chambers. Confusion, anxiety, even anger bubbled in his blood as his heart pumped it through his body at a furious pace. Loki, his Loki, was out there, in the dark, and not only did he not know how to get to her, there was nothing he could do about it. Had she been taken? Had she left? The hour was too late for any kind of wandering or social visit. Something must have happened to her. Thor growled and held Mjolnir in a white-knuckled grip. But there was no target here. No enemy to slay. Nothing but impotent rage and an empty room.

The All-Father would know. Thor didn’t often seek his father out for assistance. It made him feel foolish, childish. A little boy running to his father for help. But there were only two people in Asgard who would know Loki’s whereabouts no matter where she roamed, and Heimdall was much farther away. 

Thor stormed out of Loki’s door and was halfway down the corridor when he realized he was not dressed appropriately enough to seek counsel with the king. Even a prince needed to follow protocols, so Thor hurried back to his own room to grab at least his cape and a few easily put on pieces of armor.

As soon as he entered his room, he knew a visit to Odin was unnecessary. The flicker of a bedside lamp cast a dim glow over his chambers, but Thor didn’t need light to know Loki was there, sleeping soundly in his bed. Every cell in his body hummed in response to her proximity and the relief that flooded through him nearly brought him to his knees. The prince closed his door behind him, set his hammer gently on the floor and went to her. 

Like a moth to a flame, Thor was drawn in, and he knew he was on the verge of flying too close. Of being consumed. It was exhilarating and terrifying all that the same time. But as he gazed down at her in the faint, flickering glow, studying her as he toed off his shoes and stripped out of his clothes, he knew the truth. He was already consumed. Loki had completely engulfed him, and it was glorious.

Loki’s short silk nightdress clung to her curves as she lay on her side above the sheets, black hair impossibly dark across his pillow. Her pale face, usually kept guarded, hiding untold secrets, was now serene, relaxed with a hint of a smile playing at her rosy lips. He wondered if she could sense him in her sleep and if he was the reason for her smile. 

Laying before him, Loki was a vision, intoxicating him more thoroughly than the strongest mead. And when he crawled into the bed next to her, the heady effect of her nearness was palpable. His head swam, thoughts swirling in an unfocused haze of arousal and need and something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on. All of this from merely the sight of her, the smell of her. Oh yes, he was fully in her thrall. No chance of escape now. 

But after a week apart, seeing and smelling her wasn’t enough. Though he knew he should let her sleep, let his own weary body rest, there was no stopping his desire. Starting just above her knee, Thor let his fingers trace the line of her outer thigh. He caught the hem of her gown, pulling it up over her hip and gasped when he found her bare beneath it. Blood fled his brain and headed south, leaving Thor dizzy. 

“Mmmm, Loki,” he purred into her ear, squeezing her bare behind with rough hands. Loki responded immediately, waking with a shriek and scrambling out of his grasp. 

Thor sat up and reached for her. “Loki! What is it?”

Loki crouched on the edge of the bed, staring at him with wild, unseeing eyes for a few moments. Then she blinked as the fog of her sleep cleared and recognition seeped in.

“Thor...?” she breathed and a heartbeat later, she was in his arms, clinging to him tightly, murmuring his name over and over.

That was more like it.

Loki trembled as if afraid, but Thor’s concerns were forgotten when she kissed him, frantically, fervently. One slender hand fisted into his hair, the other found his rapidly swelling cock and stroked it until he was hard and straining. Out of his mind with arousal, Thor could do nothing but sit and allow this magnificent creature in his lap to writhe against him. 

Pulling off her nightgown and tossing it to the floor, Loki straddled him. Eager little thing, Thor thought, and he grinned darkly. She wasn’t the only eager one. Thor held his cock in his hand, sliding it teasingly across Loki’s sex before positioning himself at her entrance, the promise of that tightness nearly driving him mad. But when Loki began lower herself onto him, Thor wrapped an arm around her and stilled her. His mouth at her neck, Thor bit down hard and when she cried out, he thrusted his hips up, burying himself in her heat. 

“Loki!” Growling her name against the fresh wound on her neck, Thor nearly came right then and there from the vise-like grip her sex had on him. So tight. Thor held her still for a few moments while he backed down off the edge of orgasm and then loosened his hold on her. Immediately, she began to rock her hips, moaning wantonly as she ground herself into him. Thor guided her, lifting her and pushing her back down. They worked together to build a steady rhythm, each of them racing to the same goal.

Thor reached between them, to the junction between Loki’s legs just above where their bodies met, and with his thumb, he ensured Loki reached that goal first. He watched rapt as she came apart in front of him, shuddering, her beautiful face even more stunning with her ecstasy etched on it. Thor kept his steady pace until her tremors waned and she began to breathe again. Then, holding her close to ensure he stayed buried inside her, Thor pushed Loki until she was on her back and he could pound into her as hard as he wanted. 

He wouldn’t last long, he knew that. He didn’t even try to hold back. He drove into her mercilessly, making her scream, and just before he had fucked her right off the side of the bed, his peak blindsided him. With one last great push Thor stilled as he came, cock pulsing and spilling as deep inside Loki as he could possibly get. 

When his brain regained normal function, Thor chuckled at Loki’s head hanging off the edge of the bed. 

“Are you alright down there?” he called out, grinning.

“Hmmmm,” Loki answered lazily, making no attempt to move. “I am just fine. You may leave me be.”

Thor shook his head, and despite her words, he pulled out and gathered her into her arms, laying down the correct way on the bed. Thor laid on his back, Loki at his side, head resting on his shoulder, arm draped over his chest. He kissed the top of her head and held her tight, humming in complete contentment. It was good to be home. 

Sleep began to creep along the edge of his consciousness. It seeped into the crevices of his weary, sated body so stealthily that he barely noticed he was drifting off until Loki spoke.

“I am glad you’re back,” she said quietly. Thor could feel the vibration of her words and it roused him from his near-slumber. He smiled at the sentiment.

“As am I,” Thor answered, then paused, his eyes staring up into the darkness. “Why were you scared when I woke you?”

The hand that had been tracing light circles across his chest stilled. “A nightmare, that’s all.”

“Do they trouble you often?” The idea of her being plagued by nightmares bothered him and he frowned.

“Occasionally. They became more frequent when you left. I...couldn’t stay in my room. Not alone. I felt safer here, I slept better.” Her hand resumed its gentle motion and it would have been soothing if not for the guilt also sitting heavily on his chest. Thor shifted and rolled to his side, facing Loki, their foreheads touching.

“Loki, I am so sorry. I will not leave you here again.” He brushed a stray lock of raven hair from her cheek.

“I cannot expect you to make that promise,” Loki said with a small smile. “I survived, as did you.” 

“This is surviving? You have nightmares that drive you from own bed. The cooks tell me you have not eaten in two days. Did you leave the room at all today?” Thor could feel himself becoming agitated, but he did not like knowing Loki had suffered in his absence. 

“I was fine before -” Loki cut herself off and fell silent. 

“Before what? Did something happen?” Thor demanded. 

“No, Thor, nothing happened.” Loki took hold of his face, petting his cheeks and Thor felt himself calming under her touch. “I just got caught up in my reading. It was a better distraction than I’d realized. I didn’t notice my hunger.”

Thor grunted his disapproval. She dismissed her plight too easily, in his opinion. A habit, he knew, brought on by a lifetime of feeling unimportant. It was his job now, to break her of that habit. To prove to her that she was important.

“I do not like the idea of leaving you here alone. If I need to go somewhere again, you shall accompany me.” He said matter-of-factly. An easy remedy, he thought, one that would please him as well.

“You will grow weary of me.” Loki smirked, and Thor knew she was jesting. He doubted that he could ever grow weary of this beguiling creature. Even now, sated as he was, he wanted her again. 

“That,” Thor pecked her lips, “is impossible. 

“I will grow weary of you.”

“Also impossible!” 

“Quite possible,” she insisted.

“Then you will suffer terribly, I suppose.” Thor grinned as he allowed the pads of his fingers to travel from Loki’s shoulder down toward her hip, making her squirm. “Do you suffer now?”

“Hmmm, yes, terribly.” Loki’s eyes closed and she smiled, but she played along.

Thor reached around to gently knead the flesh of her ass, moving her hips forward to brush against his reigniting passion. His lips found her collarbone and sucked the blood to the surface there, enjoying the resulting quickening of her breath. 

“And now? Are you weary of me now, Loki”

“Oh yes,” she lied.

“That really is too bad,” Thor murmured as he rolled Loki onto her back and latched onto her breast, rolling her nipple between his teeth and tongue, reveling in the sounds it drew from her lips. His hand reached down between her legs, and he groaned knowing it was _his_ seed that made her so slick. The most intimate mark he could make, and now he wanted to make it again. 

Breathing heavy with renewed lust, Thor’s tongue danced across Loki’s lips, which she readily opened for him. Her legs fell apart, and Thor took advantage of the unspoken permission. Entering her and curling his fingers, Thor greedily swallowed her moans. They did belong to him, after all. 

Breaking the kiss, panting against her lips, Thor growled, “Again.”

“Yes!” Loki cried, and she cried it again when Thor mounted her and thrust in sharply. Thor matched it with his own rumbly cry. Every nerve ending still hummed from his last climax, and though this time did not feel as urgent as the last, it was every bit as intense. Loki clung to him as he rolled his hips into her. Moving slowly, he savored just how hot she was inside, the only place on her body that got truly hot. And still so tight. Though Thor had stretched her plenty not too long ago, she still clamped down on him so hard it took his breath away.

Deciding that her soft groans weren’t loud enough, Thor reached behind Loki’s knees and pulled her legs up toward her chest. The angle had him hitting that spot he’d grazed earlier with his fingers, and he drove into her relentlessly.

“Oh. Oh! OH!” Loki’s moans now filled the room and Thor’s ears and he grinned smugly to see her so consumed by pleasure. She was always stunning, but like this, with her mouth slack and her brow furrowed, a sheen of sweat on her forehead, she was truly exquisite. She looked like this for him, and for him alone. He spotted the marks he’d left on her neck and shoulder. They stood out against her pale skin, undeniable proof that she was his. 

Spurred on by his thoughts, Thor’s thrusts turned aggressive, dominating, and soon that familiar urgent heat began to build inside him and he knew he was close. So when Loki cried out his name and her whole body clenched, Thor was drawn over the edge with her and they fell together into blissful oblivion. 

Utterly spent, Thor collapsed and nuzzled his face against Loki’s neck, purring as she ran her fingers along his scalp. He was already so close to sleep, exhaustion and satiation carrying him away at a breakneck speed. And as much as he wanted to lay there all night, buried deep inside Loki, he knew he was close to crushing her already. With a sleepy sigh, he rolled over and gathered her into his arms, making sure she was comfortable before fully relaxing. More content than he’d been in a week, Thor allowed himself to drift off.

“I love you, Loki” Thor murmured. “I’ll never leave you.” He was too close to sleep to appreciate the gravity of his words, and he fully succumbed before Loki could even reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fun times for our little lovebirds before the storm hits. Will Loki tell Thor about Fandral's advances? Will Thor tell Loki what happened with Sif? Or is the storm going to come from a direction neither of them expects and blindside everyone? Anyone care to guess?
> 
> Thank you for reading and commenting and kudoing(is that a word?) and bookmarking and existing! Thank you for being you, all of you!


	14. The Reckoning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor meets with Odin. Surely nothing bad can come of that, right?

“Stop fidgeting!” Loki scolded. 

“You’re tickling me.” 

“I am not. Ugh.” Loki threw her hands up and stepped back. “There, you’re done. I cannot help you anymore.”

Thor grinned at her. In his full regalia, he felt dignified, important. He knew he was a sight to behold. In the three days since he’d returned from the hunt, this was the first opportunity he’d had to dress up. It felt good. And he knew Loki fancied him, despite her irritation. 

“You fancy me, I know you do.” Thor gathered her into his arms.

“No one can deny that you are regal. But this,” Loki rapped her knuckles against the thick metal of his chest place. “Makes it most unpleasant to hug you.”

A glint flashed across Thor’s cerulean eyes. “I prefer you without clothing as well.” His finger caught the strap of her gown and pulled it off her shoulder before leaning in to press a kiss to the bare skin there.

Loki shivered, and suddenly Thor wanted nothing more than to continue stripping Loki of her clothes, and then follow until they were both naked again. But a slender hand stopped him.

“Thor, you keep the All-Father waiting.” 

“Relax, my love,” Thor said softly. The endearment came easily now that they’d admitted their true feelings. Loki had been hesitant to accept his words, insisting that his love for her was based on a false body. While he couldn’t deny that he did love her body, he was able to convince her that he loved what was inside it just as much. That he would love her in any form, even Jotun. And when Loki had said she loved him too, Thor took those words and cherished them. They invigorated him, made him feel invincible.

Now, he used that confidence to reassure Loki. “I know you’re worried, but all will be fine! You’ll see.” 

“You will ask Odin? Find out the details of this deal?”

“Yes, of course. Right after he tells me about the feast they’re planning for me.” He boasted.

“Your optimism is frighteningly unrealistic. You’re flying without wings or a net.”

“I fly that way all the time,” Thor leaned in and kissed her, quickly, but passionately. “I will return shortly. Please don’t fret.”

“I will try.” 

“There are still things to be moved over, if you feel up to it.” Thor suggested. They had decided to move Loki into his room, since they were together every night anyway. It made more sense to just bring her things over. “I will stop at the kitchens on my way back and bring us some lunch.”

“Now you are the one fretting.” Loki gently pushed him toward the door. “Go. I will be fine.” 

Thor gave her a mirthful smile, then bent to kiss her cheek once more. “I love you.”

“You act as though you’ll be gone a week again, rather than an hour!” Loki complained with a roll of her eyes. But at Thor’s pout, she softened and put a hand to his cheek. “I love you, too.”

Thor made his way quickly through the palace. His jaunty stride was bolstered by confidence and bravado as he made his way to the king’s chambers. He hadn’t actually spoken to his father in some time, and he was anxious to hear his praise. Anxious to tell the king his news.

When Thor had been summoned earlier that morning, he’d assumed he was going to get a congratulatory pat on the pack for his heroism during the wolf attack. Most likely Odin wanted to announce a feast in his honor. The rest of the men had returned safely from the hunt the previous day. Those injured were swiftly healing, all but Fandral had already left the healing rooms. All that was in no small part thanks to Thor’s bravery and quick action. It was cause to celebrate, and Thor was in the mood for a party.

The celebration would serve another purpose for Thor, and he was most excited about the second one. He planned to formally announce his courtship of Loki. It would set her mind at ease, and would hopefully put a stop to unwanted advances. 

There would be quite a few broken hearts there, Thor knew. Many women in the court still held out hope that he’d settle down with one of them. None of them had ever captivated him like Loki had, and it was time he made his feelings public. He didn’t want another incident like the one with Sif. Nor did he want Fandral to forget what he’d told him. Loki was his, and it was time the whole of Asgard knew it.

Of course, Odin would have to publicly bless the courtship, but Thor wasn’t expecting that to be a problem. And so it was with a wide grin that Thor strode through the door into Odin’s informal meeting room. The king was standing at a large table in the center of the room, conferring with a palace guard and pointing to a large scroll of paper on the table. He looked up when Thor entered, but offered no greeting.

"Father! You wished to see me? You have heard of the perils of our last hunt!" Thor approached Odin, grinning proudly. Odin nodded, but his face remained serious. The scroll was a map of Asgard, laid out on the table and Thor wondered if he was interrupting something important.

"Yes, but I wish to speak with you on a different matter." He turned and spoke quietly to the guard, too low for Thor to hear. The guard gave an affirmative nod, then left quickly. Odin spoke to Thor again as he began to roll the map up. "It has come to my attention that you and the Jotun have become close."

Thor smiled wide, missing the All-Father's grim expression in his excitement. "Yes! Father, Loki is wonderful! I have never met anyone like her. I wish to court her. Well, I am courting her. But I wish to make it known. Officially."

"No! It cannot happen!" Odin snapped, slamming the map back down to the table. He calmed himself immediately, taking a few deep breaths, as if fortifying himself for what was to come. His next words felt like a physical blow to Thor’s stomach. "You will not court her."

Thor's brow furrowed deeply, and his mouth fell open in a mix of shock, disbelief, and heartbreak. "But, father...I am in love with her. And she with me."

"All the women in Asgard, and you choose a Jotun to give your heart to? I was a fool to think you could handle this." Disappointment laded the king’s voice as he turned his face away from Thor’s.

Thor raised his voice, but it cracked, straining under the knowledge that his wishes, as always, had little bearing on his father's decisions. 

"Handle what?! W-Why would you send me to retrieve and allow me to keep her if it were not to court her? I wish to marry her!"

Odin shook his head, lamenting either his own foolishness or Thor's. 

"A Jotun coming to Asgard, realm of her enemies, would require a strong protector, someone who would treat her fairly and keep her safe while she found her way. Had I known you would bed her, court her," Odin sneered at this, as if the very words tasted bitter. "I would have sent someone else."

Thor snapped back. "But you sent me and now I love her and she is mine!"

"You love her? What do you know of love? You’re just a boy. You see love as a fanciful tale of romance and jubilation and nothing of consequence. As a man, as a crowned prince, you will learn that /nothing/ comes before obligation. The future of Asgard, the peace of the entire Nine Realms will rest on your shoulders. I will not allow you to throw that away on a childish whim."

"I would have her as my wife before I would have any of your foolish obligations!! What care does the Nine have whether or not Loki and I are together?!" Thor seethed. He could feel Mjolnir crackling quietly in its holster near his hand as his anger surged through him. 

"A Jotun as queen of Asgard?" That sneer returned. "That is sacrilege. You think her loyal? You think her fit to rule at your side? You've forgotten everything I taught you about the Frost Giants."

"Loki is different. She is not like the other Frost Giants. She is no monster. Her heritage does not matter to me."

"You think your feelings matter?" Odin barked a laugh. "Son, you still have so much to learn. I have let you sow your wild oats long enough, perhaps too long. It is time you matured. Start focusing on what it means to be a king."

"She is mine and I will not let you take her from me!!" Thor was now completely enraged. With Mjolnir heavy and charged under his hand, he felt very nearly ready to strike his father down where he stood, king or no. But he could not bring himself to wield his hammer in his father’s presence.

Odin remained calm, infuriatingly calm in the face of Thor's rage. "She was never yours. I should have made that clear from the start. She was not brought here to warm your bed."

"Then what was she brought here for?" Thor demanded.

Odin stopped, carefully considering his words before he spoke them. 

"As king, it is my responsibility to ensure the safety of our borders, to keep peace among all the realms. As your father, it is my duty to guide you and teach you how to be an effective king. I do not, as your king or as your father, need to explain my actions. And you, as my son and my subject, need follow my orders without question."

Thor’s furious scowl returned at Odin’s blatant evasion of the question. He knew he would get no answer from his father. He was merely a puppet on a string, and Odin the tyrannical puppetmaster. Thor would stand it no longer.

"I care not for your silly games, only for Loki. You cannot force us to do your bidding, no matter your grandiose notions!"

Odin growled at the show of disrespect and Thor cringed by reflex.

"Know your place, son, and do not forget who is in charge here. You will focus on your training, on finding yourself a suitable wife, on learning what it means to be a king. You will have no further contact with Loki." Odin shouted his orders as if he were laying down the law in no uncertain terms. 

"I am no longer a child! You cannot tell me what to do!" Thor sneered as he turned and stormed towards the door, suddenly very worried about seeing Loki.

Odin allowed him to leave. He called out, "It is too late, son. It has already been done."

Thor didn’t hear him, refused to hear him, as he flew through the palace back to his room. Storm clouds roiled in the sky overhead and outside people scrambled to take cover from the pounding rain that began to fall. The thunder overhead matched the thunder of Thor’s heart in both intensity and, within Thor’s head, in volume. Odin’s words echoed just as loudly in his mind, tormenting him. 

_You will not court her. Sacrilege. No further contact._

His father had oft been harsh and unreasonable. Cruel even. But this was too much. Thor needed to get Loki and get her away from Odin. They would run away. Hide out somewhere. He didn’t know where. The woods for now, until he could think of something more permanent. Maybe Midgard. His thoughts ran as wild and fast as his feet.

The door to his room nearly tore from its hinges as Thor burst through it. 

“Loki!” Thor shouted to the empty room. His heart stopped. She wasn’t there. He rushed to the wardrobe and yanked it open. Bare. The gowns and other clothes she’d moved from her room were gone, hangers littered the bottom as though they’d been yanked quickly from the rack. The stack of books and Loki’s collection of vials were also gone from the table.

“No.” Thor whispered. He turned and bolted across the hall to Loki’s room. He called Loki’s name as he flung the door open, but she wasn’t there either. 

Curse Odin! If he took Loki away, sent her off into Asgard or back to Jotunheim, Thor would go mad. He wanted to kill him. Oh, he could kill the king easily right now, with the rage that boiled in his blood. Mjolnir sparked excitedly in his hand, as if supportive of that idea. But he knew he’d lose his own head before he ever got close to touching Odin’s. 

Thor returned to his own room and headed out to the balcony. Standing in the deluge that his own temper had stirred up, he peered out to the Bifrost, but it remained quiet. Which meant Loki remained in Asgard.

“Loki!” he hollered to the ground below, but he knew she was gone. He could feel it in his bones, a crushing weight that drove him to his knees and his bellow of rage was nearly drowned out by the clap of thunder that rattled the whole palace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad, bad cliffhanger! Bad, bad author! I know. I accept all your rage. Please throw it at me. Am I sorry? Maybe. Ehehehe!
> 
> Ugh, though. Does Odin piss you off as much as he does me? What do you think he did with Loki? I know, of course, but I'd love to hear your theories.
> 
> Thank you in advance for reading and supporting my humble little story! :D


	15. The Clearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki discovers her fate.

Loki watched Thor leave with a rising anxiety in her stomach. The information he was going to get could drastically affect their lives, and all Loki could do now was hope it wouldn’t be for the worse. That whatever the deal was, it would be something they could overcome together. Or better yet, something that may actually benefit them. Though, knowing her father, and knowing what she did about Odin, Loki doubted that very seriously.

Odin was ruthless, cunning. A powerful man who was not afraid of sacrifice. Every Jotun grew up hating him, and though Loki was wise enough to know the stories she’d heard were heavily biased, she did not trust him. The All-Father had brought her here for a purpose, and it could not have been as easy as falling in love with Thor and living happily ever after. No, the sacrifice would come. Loki knew that, even if Thor didn’t.

When it came to Odin, Thor had the blind faith of a little boy. He idolized his father and refused to believe anything but good things about him. Loki couldn’t bear to taint him with what she knew to be the truth. She warned Thor about being too optimistic, but she did not voice all her worries. He would see soon enough. Fathers always disappointed their children. Loki was lucky, hers had done it her whole life, so she was used to it. When Odin fell from Thor’s pedestal, and he would, he would plummet. But it would be Thor who would shatter. 

It was Loki’s job to make sure those pieces got put back together, and make sure the scars he would be left with did not cripple him. She loved him. As inexplicable and unexpected as it was, she loved him. Thor’s faith in his father came from that same place inside him that saw the good in everyone, including Loki. This ability to see goodness was Thor’s light, and Loki had come to depend on it. It was the only thing she’d known that could chase away the cold shadows that lived inside her. And if that light went out, or even dimmed a little, those shadows could consume them both. 

Frowning, Loki decided to find something to distract her from fretting. She walked to the table that had her books laid out. Thor had asked about them. She’d told him they were books on magic, but not that she was trying to regain her Jotun form. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to anymore. If she saw even a hint of revulsion in Thor’s eyes, it would kill her. Yes, he told her that he loved her no matter what color her skin was, but Loki wasn’t sure if she was ready to put that to the test. Still, for her own curiosity, she continued. The next time she had any significant alone time, she would attempt the spell. Not now. She was too anxious to concentrate.

As Loki leafed through the pages of her book, she glanced up when she caught movement by the door. Her head tilted in confusion when two guards, armed with expressions as sharp as their spears, walked in. With their horned silver helmets and long golden robes, they looked every bit as intimidating as Thor when he was dressed in his official regalia. 

“The prince has left already,” Loki stated, assuming they were looking for Thor. 

The pair separated silently, one headed to large wardrobe where hers and Thor’s clothing was stored. Loki’s eyes widened in apprehension when the other approached her and stood by her side. 

“What is this?” She attempted to sound forceful, but her voice wavered. The guard threw open the wardrobe doors and immediately began pulling her clothes off the hangers. 

“Wait!” Loki shouted, but as one hand went up, the guard next to her moved quick as a flash and fastened a shackle to her wrist as it shot out. 

“What!?” Her wrist thrummed with a subtle vibration, and Loki knew there was powerful magic in this shackle. In a panic, she pried at it and failed to notice the matching cuff snapping around her other wrist until it was too late. 

With both braces in place, the spell began to work. The pain that shot through Loki was immediate and severe. It knocked the breath out of her and drove her to her knees. She tried to scream, but her throat constricted and would let out no sound. The stabbing, searing pain that seemed to tear through her whole body, crowded out her senses and rendered her defenseless. 

Barely able to see or hear, Loki could do nothing to stop the guard from lifting her and carrying her out Thor’s room. Her head rolled around as she tried to catch a glimpse of Thor, of anyone who could help her, but the only people in the hall were more guards. She wanted to scream, but all she could manage was a low moan. No one even looked her way.

She was swiftly taken from the palace, out to a horse-drawn cart. Quickly, but gently, Loki was set down in the back. A sack, which presumably held her belongings was placed next to her. Then the door was shut and the cart began to move, leaving Loki curled in a ball, semiconscious from the pain. She groaned miserably as the cart lurched and bounced its way away from the palace, away from Thor. The pain from the cuffs was unbearable, but even that couldn’t diminish the agony that was her heart being torn apart. 

Through the fog of pain, Loki heard a clap of thunder, and her heart twisted further. Thor must know she’d been taken. He had told her how, when he got angry enough, the skies expressed his rage. Rain began to pelt the top of the carriage, leaking through the cracks in the shoddy wooden roof. A steady drip fell near Loki’s head and she moved one hand underneath it. Thor’s rage had sent the rain, and she caught it in her palm. Loki closed her fist over the drops that had collected there and cherished them as much as she could through the pain. The thunder grew fainter as the cart continued toward it’s unknown destination, and Loki passed out, finally succumbing to the pain and despair.

A sudden jolt of the cart hitting a stone in the road jarred Loki awake. The first thing she noticed was that the pain had lessened tremendously. It was still sharp, but not quite as overwhelming as it had been. Sitting up as much as she could in the enclosed space, Loki also noticed that the rain had stopped. Her heart sank as she realized what that meant. They were likely far from the palace. Oh, she wished she knew where she was being taken to!

In the dim light streaming through the slits in the wood, Loki studied the bands around her wrists. A very powerful magic, indeed. The spell infused in them was well beyond her comprehension, and when she pried at them, it sent painful shocks through her fingers. She tried using her own magic against them, but the shackles prevented it. Though she could feel her power surging through her body, it went no further than her wrists. Whoever had made these had accounted for everything it seemed. Nothing she could do with them but tolerate the pain until they were removed. 

Finally, after what felt like hours, the cart came to a stop. Loki tried to quell the nervousness that shot through her, but it was impossible. Heavy footsteps and muffled voices could be heard outside. Loki tried to peer through one of the slats, but she could see nothing but greenery. When the door to the cart was opened, she flinched and blinked at the bright light. 

She’d been expecting a palace guard, but it was just a simply dressed man standing there. He looked older than any Asgardian she’d seen before, with gray hair peeking out from under his dark brown cap. He peered in at her and she stared back.

“Come on then. I haven’t got all day,” the man said finally. “This is where you get out.” Then he picked up the bag of her belongings and disappeared around the side of the cart. Loki contemplated staying in the cart, but knew it would be pointless. Slowly, cautiously, she climbed out. The cuffs felt heavy on her arms, but the pain was manageable. She was able to move freely and think clearly. 

Once she was out and on the ground, she looked around. They were in a clearing that was surrounded by trees in every direction. She could see nothing but sky past the treetops. Picturesque as it was, Loki couldn’t help but feel claustrophobic. The trees cut off everything beyond them, giving the landscape a very isolated feel. As if this whole clearing was in a realm of it’s own.

In the middle of the clearing was a small house. A cabin, really, made of wood and modest, though it appeared to be well built. It was surrounded by a short wooden fence, with two horizontal bars being held up every few feet by support posts. The fence stretched around a pasture behind the house and made for a nice courtyard in front, which contained a lovely garden with lots of bright blossoms. The whole scene seemed to sparkle with the dappled sunlight streaming through the trees. If Loki hadn’t been dragged here against her will, she would have found it darling.

“Why am I here?” she demanded to the man, the cart driver, she assumed. He was standing near a gate with another man who was now holding the sack. Both stared at her. “Tell me why I am here!” she yelled when neither man answered.

“The king ordered me to bring you here. I didn’t get a reason.” The driver glanced at the other man and said, “She’s all yours.” He sidestepped a glowering Loki to close the back of his cart and hopped onto the front and drove away through the trees leaving Loki wondering what she was supposed to do now.

“You should come inside the fence,” the man near the gate offered. Loki turned to glare at him. His face was open, with smiling blue eyes, and an unruly mop of brown curls atop his head. He was tall, perhaps an inch or two shorter than Thor, but slender where Thor was brawny. He had a straight thin nose and a red-tinged beard that was trimmed short. Under any other circumstances, Loki probably would not have hated him as immediately as she did now. 

“I am not going in there! I need to get back to the palace.” She replied, absently pulling at the bands on her wrists as she contemplated navigating the woods. She hissed quietly as the cuff shocked her again. Damn. 

“Those are causing you pain, yes?” he asked, glancing down at her wrists. Loki didn’t answer, but she didn’t have to. It was evident on her face. “It will stop if you come inside the fence. Or so I’ve been told.”

Curious, but fearing a trap, Loki hesitated. The man seemed to understand. He unlatched the gate and allowed it to swing open. “I will bring your things inside. You come in when you’re ready.”

She watched him walk inside the house with a narrowed gaze. When he disappeared from view, Loki ventured to the gate and stepped through it. As if a switch had been flipped, the pain stopped immediately. Relief coursed through her, and a delighted laugh fell from her lips. Such bliss to not feel that pain after so many hours being plagued with it! The cuffs were no more than simple silver bands now, and though they still gave her a nasty jolt when she pried at them, if left alone, they didn’t trouble her at all. 

Perfect, she thought as she stepped back through the gate, intending to head out the same direction the cart had gone. Hopefully it wasn’t too far to the closest village. But no sooner than she’d gotten two feet from the fence, than the pain was back with a vengeance. Loki staggered and doubled over, struggling to keep on her feet. Once she got back inside the gate, the pain vanished once more. 

“Oh,” Loki sighed, trying to recapture her breath. So that’s what the cuffs were for. This house, this serene landscape was no more than an elaborate cage. By placing the shackles on her back at the palace, they’d made sure she fully understood what she faced if she attempted escape. The farther away she was from this house, the worse the pain became.

Was this Odin’s work, or the man who lived here, Loki wondered.

“Is that any better?” 

Loki startled at the man’s voice behind her and she spun around to face him.

“Did you do this? Why have you trapped me here? You will take these off immediately and let me go!” Loki thrust out her arms, offering the cuffs to him. The man took a step back and held up his hands.

“Whoa. Calm down,” he said. “Those bangles are not my doing. I am a painter, not a sorcerer.” His voice was deep, melodic, and Loki felt a faint tingling in the back of her head when he spoke. Odd though not unpleasant, but she was too irate to pay any attention to it.

“Who did this then? Odin? For what reason? Why am I here?” Loki peppered him with demanding questions. 

The man smiled sympathetically. “Why don’t you come inside? It is more comfortable, and I can tell you what I know.”

Loki scoffed. “I am not going anywhere but back to the palace.” 

“Suit yourself. I was just going to have some tea. You’re welcome to join me anytime and we can talk.” And with that, the man turned on his heel and walked back to the house. Loki’s feet moved forward two steps before she realized it and stopped herself.

“Wait! You will answer my questions!” Loki called out furiously, but the man was already inside. He’d left the door ajar, an invitation that Loki had no intention of accepting, no matter how curious she was. She frowned. Sure, the house and its owner seemed harmless, but the thought of following him inside just felt wrong. Once inside, she would be at his mercy, unable to run if necessary. 

Besides, any step that was not heading back to the palace was one in the wrong direction. Leaving the man be for now, Loki decided to see what she could do to help herself. 

The gate hung open, taunting Loki. It also appeared harmless, but Loki knew more than anyone that looks were often deceiving. She took a step toward it, testing. Waiting for the pain to return. When it didn’t, she took another step, putting one foot through the gate. Nothing. It wasn’t until the precise moment that both feet passed over the threshold of the gate that the pain started. And it disappeared the second she put one foot back inside the fence. No leeway at all.

Perhaps there was another gate, an opening that wasn’t as guarded. She decided to walk the perimeter of the fence. Survey the land and search for a way out, search for anything that may help her. If she found nothing, then she would consider hearing what the man had to say. 

The fence was maintained past the house and gardens, around a good-sized pasture where two cows and a horse grazed. A breeze cooled her skin as she walked in the sunlight. Birds chirped and trilled in the woods surrounding the field, and Loki could hear the rush of a stream just beyond the trees. The tranquility was a stark contrast to the turmoil that was raging inside Loki. 

Every few fence posts, Loki would attempt to cross through. She bent and slipped easily between the two horizontal bars. It was no use, the pain visited her every time, exactly as it had at the gate. Before long, tears of frustration and agony streamed down her face and she almost couldn’t bear to keep going. 

By the time Loki made it back to the house, she was shaking and sweating and feeling utterly trapped. She made it to a shady tree and collapsed against the trunk, willing herself to relax and cool off. Eventually, the shaking subsided and she could feel the breeze do its job. 

When she opened her eyes again, the man was there, leaning against that cursed fence, watching her. Loki stood and approached him. 

“You need to go to the palace and get the prince. I’ve been taken from him and am being held here against my will. You say this is not your doing, so you must help me.”

“I can’t do that.” He replied, and the deep dulcet tones of his voice reverberated inside Loki’s head. She felt her tension ease, and although his words infuriated her, she was unable to muster up the energy to be angry. It must be the exertion, Loki thought, tiring her out. 

“You refuse? Then you are complicit in this crime. You will answer for it, I assure you.”

“I am not complicit. I’ve been forbidden to go near the palace, or to contact the prince.” 

“Forbidden?” Loki sighed. Her mind swam and that same tingling had returned. While pleasing, it was getting harder to ignore. “Please, just tell me what is going on. Who are you?” 

“My name is Hymir. I am a painter, though mostly by hobby. I sell my work when I need to, but I don’t often need to. I get by just fine on my own. I enjoy my solitary life here. I don’t bother anyone and no one bothers me.” Loki stared at him while he spoke, entranced. He really was handsome. Even though she hated him, she couldn’t deny it. His eyes were the same deep blue as the Jotun sky, though they were warm and friendly and everything Jotunheim wasn’t. 

“Everything was fine until two days ago when one of the King’s messengers shows up with a scroll.” He frowned and Loki did too. Two days ago. That had been the day after Thor returned from his hunt. She’d spent that day happily frolicking in bed with him, making love, talking, and learning the exquisite torture that was being tickled. She’d been happy and in love and completely unaware of how her life was about to change.

“What did the scroll say?” Loki asked, curiosity bubbling inside her, replacing her ire so subtly that she didn’t even notice it. 

“Um, just that I would be receiving a houseguest. You, I presume. Your name is Loki, is it not?”

She nodded. “How long am I meant to stay here?”

“As far as I can tell, indefinitely.” 

“No!” she shouted, and she remembered her anger. “I don’t belong here! I am Thor’s...” she trailed off, unsure what to call herself. They were not betrothed, or even officially courting. Lover sounded too intimate. Property, too impersonal. Finally, she blurted, “I belong to Thor.” 

“According to the scroll, the prince is the one that requested you be sent here.”

“That isn’t true!” Loki cried. The prince wanted her sent away two days ago? That can’t be right. Two days ago Thor was...actually, Loki couldn’t remember anymore. That’s strange, she thought and tried to focus. Laughter, she remembered laughter and Thor’s face close to hers as he moved inside her. But the entirety of the memory eluded her now. Why couldn’t she think? 

“In any case, I’m pretty sure you’re stuck here. The All-Father was explicit in his instructions that I make sure you remain here, though your bracelets there do a decent job of that on their own.”

The bracelets. Loki stared down at them in horror. The magic must be stealing her memories! No! They couldn’t steal Thor from her. And she refused to forget who she really was. 

“Please, you have to listen to me. I belong to Thor. I love him and he loves me. He brought me from...” Loki had to struggle to remember. Where had she first seen Thor? It was dark and cold, an ice world. Her world! Jotunheim. “From Jotunheim. These bands, they’re making me forget. I can’t forget!”

“Loki, calm down,” Hymir reached out to steady her, but Loki cringed away. 

“NO! Stay away!” Panic seized Loki as the realization dawned on her. “You, you’re making it happen!” His presence was speeding up the process, and every word he spoke took more memories. The thought of how quickly they may fade if he touched her, made Loki’s heart race even faster.

Hymir stepped back, holding his hands up. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Ahh, stop talking! Go away!” Loki shouted, covering her ears to keep out his voice. That vibration she heard when he spoke was the magic working. She recognized it now. The magic was erasing her memories. Erasing Thor. She turned and fled, trying to keep Thor’s face in her mind. His sparkling eyes, blue as the midday sky, his wide smile, his fuzzy cheeks and how they bristled against her skin. She held tight to the memory of when he’d whispered “I love you” to her the first time, when he thought she was sleeping. When she said it back, even though he was asleep.

But she couldn’t get far enough. Hymir, who didn’t understand what was going on, called after her. It was no use. Dropping to her knees, her hands flew across the ground, searching for something. She found a twig and used it to scratch out Thor’s name in the dirt. 

Thor. 

She knew him. Didn’t she? Who was he? She pictured the sun, a gleaming gold so bright that it made her squint and burned her. She felt the tingling in her skin. He’d touched her. He’d loved her. She loved him. 

Remember!

“Loki, what are you doing? What’s wrong?” Hymir crouched next to her.

“Go away!” Loki yelled and shoved him hard. He fell into the dirt, his boot landing on the letters she’d just scratched. Those letters. T, H, O, and R. They spelled love. Or home. Loki couldn’t remember, but she knew she had to. Her life depended on it.

But she couldn’t. Loki pushed deep into her memories, but it was as barren as a frozen wasteland. Had she ever even seen a frozen wasteland? She hoped not. She didn’t like ice, or cold. Warmth was much preferable. 

Warm. Thor was warm in every way. His face flitted once more across her mind and she tried hang onto it, but it was gone. 

No! 

The dirt wasn’t enough. It wasn’t permanent. Frantic, Loki grabbed the twig and snapped it in half. With the sharp edge, she began to gouge the skin on her left arm. Using the wood shard as a blade, she carved the letters into her flesh. Blood ran freely down her arm, as tears did down her cheeks, staining her skin with the evidence of her heartbreak. 

“Loki! Stop! You’re hurting yourself!” 

Loki looked at him through her tears. Hymir. She knew him. Did she hate him? Why did he look so concerned? Why did her arm hurt? 

She glanced down at her arm, blood and dirt mingled around the letters. THOR. Had she done this? The bloody stick was still clutched in her other hand. Sobbing, she flung it to the ground it as if it burned her and began to rub at her arm, trying to wipe the blood away. 

“Come on.” Gentle arms wrapped around her shoulders, which were heaving with sobs. “You’re hyperventilating, Loki. Let’s go inside. I’ll clean your arm and bandage it. Get you some tea, and maybe some food.”

Sadness and grief twisted inside Loki’s heart, but she didn’t know why. It felt as if someone she loved had died, but that made no sense. She hadn’t ever loved anyone. She ached, from her arm all the way down to her soul and she was more tired than she ever remembered being. But she didn’t remember anything now. That should probably bother her, but it didn’t. She allowed Hymir to lift her and guide her back to the house.

As they walked, Loki’s sobs eased, her tears dried and her heartache faded to a paralyzing numbness. She noticed nothing of the small living area they passed through as Hymir led her to the kitchen. The sting barely registered as the water sluiced away the blood and dirt from her arm. The letters there meant nothing to her, nor did the words that Hymir spoke as he tended to her arm. 

“I know this is difficult, Loki. It is for me, as well. Neither of us asked for this, but we have to make do. You can’t hurt yourself like this again. I don’t have many resources, and I can’t take you to a healer if you’re badly injured. You have to promise me you won’t do this again.”

When the hypnotic thrum of his voice stopped, Loki looked up. Hymir’s deep blue eyes were watching her expectantly, as if waiting for an answer. She nodded slowly, unsure if that was the correct response. It must have been, because he smiled and continued talking. Loki closed her eyes again and allowed herself to be lulled once more by the timbre of Hymir’s voice.

“Good. Good. There, that should do for now. The cuts don’t seem too deep, so they should heal on their own. I don’t know about scarring. We’ll have to wait and see about that.” 

Scars? What was he talking about? Loki was so sleepy. She felt herself being lifted and she snuggled instinctively into the warm body that cradled hers. She clung to it and the familiarity that made her smile. Her fingers crept up by reflex to his shoulder to twine into golden hair, but there was none. She frowned and wondered why she’d expected it in the first place. 

Hymir laid her down on a soft bed, and Loki felt a rumble of laughter move through him when she refused to let go. The chill she felt when the comforting warmth moved away frightened her and she whimpered when something tried to pry her fingers apart. 

“Okay, Loki. I’ll stay.” 

Loki didn’t hear the words, but she sighed happily when arms wrapped around her. Settling contentedly in their warm security, she slept. 

And when she dreamed, she dreamed of a great lion, with a golden mane and giant paws. It stood on a rocky cliff, high above Loki’s head. A storm raged around them, clouds blackening the skies and wind whipping Loki’s hair and the lion’s mane around. Rain lashed at her face as she tried to keep her eyes on the lion, but the rain had caused a flood in the ravine she stood in and the water rose rapidly. Loki looked down in dismay as it lapped at her ankles. She blinked and it was at her waist. Terror gripped her. She knew the lion would save her, but when she looked up, it was gone. A great roar shattered the air, just as the water closed in over Loki’s ears. Had it been the lion, or just another thunderclap? Then, completely submerged and unable to breathe, Loki knew it was neither. There was no lion, no thundering storm. The sound had been the rush of water, come to bring her to her end. 

She awoke gasping for breath, but with no memory of the dream. A hand rubbed soothing circles into her back and smiling, Loki fell back into an untroubled sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for how long that took! I had a busy weekend. As a condolence, I give to you the longest chapter yet. And quite possibly the saddest and hardest to write. My poor babies. I torture them so. All in the name of good story-writing though!
> 
> There was some confusion in the last chapter about whether or not my Odin is part Frost Giant, as he is in mythology. I'm veering off movie verse more than mythology here(because wow, complicated), so let's assume for this story, he is NOT part Frost Giant. Yes, he's a bigot, but not a hypocrite. At least not in this case.
> 
> Also, I know I have a drawing for my icon, but I do have an actual face claim in mind as I write for my Loki. It's an actress named Olga Kurylenko, who I think is gorgeous and makes a nice female Loki.
> 
> This one is my main image 25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltild3dh8P1qbhsq8o1_500.jpg
> 
> But these are nice too.
> 
> 25.media.tumblr.com/9d6581ec7b8f9c4aba390d90ac5638c6/tumblr_mnm3zukyaw1qj362to3_1280.jpg
> 
> 25.media.tumblr.com/23383d035b61187c6353bd6943a00de4/tumblr_mnqfbqyuOS1rnjet9o1_1280.jpg
> 
> Also, Richard Madden is who I am picturing as Hymir.
> 
> 24.media.tumblr.com/cd303b1137a7e4ee15a52e0c88c6aec1/tumblr_mljbu912r31qglqmxo1_1280.jpg
> 
> You all know what Thor looks like already!
> 
> Again, thank you all for reading and commenting and giving kudos and all your support!


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